A hole in my heart.. m4w Hi. I am not even sure what I am going to write here, but decided to just put what came to my mind as I typed. You see, I am in love with my best friend, but now she has another, and I am really just broken hearted. I am not looking for a relationship.. I don't even want a new best friend, as she still is mine, and that will never change. but it is hard to talk about your heartache with the person who it is about, without being biased. I know when I talk to her, I make her feel guilty, and even that makes me sad. she does not deserve that. Feeling are a funny thing. they sometimes sneak up on you. I understand that, but it does not make my heart hurt any less.
I don't really expect anyone to respond to this, but if you do, I will respond. I will be fine, I know it.. it has only been a week, so I am still stinging, but I just needed an outlet to talk for a few minutes, other then bringing her down by reminding her how much I am hurting.
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Seriously, who came up with these support laws. My ex got his disability he never paid support reliably to me he never paid support at all really but he has another ex and I just found out that ALL of his back pay be getting taken and split between us. He gets none of it. We get the back pay for the AND we get his back pay every cent. WTH. I am trying not to complain, cause I am sure they are trying to do what is "right" but that can't be right. I am not saying it hasn't been hard. I am not even saying I don't feel like I deserve some of the money but my conscience can't take ALL of it. I'll be honest if the money were split ways between the attorney, him, his other ex wife, and me that makes sense to me that might make me a money grubing wench but it has been hard and I wouldn't mind getting an extra couple thousand of dollars to give me some breathing room. But dude for him to get NONE of the back pay thats just wrong. I am a little grumpy because it sticks me in an annoying situation. I am giving back a portion of the money that I am "entitled" to because I find it morally wrong to do that to a disabled person. So in order for HIM to get a fair amount of backpay so he can get a decent car, and a little breathing room, my gets less than his other. Thats lame and frustrating. The laws shouldn't take more than he can survive off of. Also, wth is up with them taking his monthly benefits WHO can live off of a month? I mean REALLY. Even if he had a house thats paid off. Gr. My dad always said, "just cause its legal, that doesn't make it right." I feel like this falls into that catagory but I can still feel whiney about it. Them making it "legal" screws me out of getting payments and feeling good about them. :/ Ulverston mature ladies
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