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I heard a lot of that nonsense from my partner as well. It was a defense mechanism due to her own shame and embarrassment. Please don't buy into it. You can't begin to deal with it until every one is being honest without attacking. and I felt for myself and for you that it is just not fair to treat someone as a friend but expect them to stay committed as a lover. It does not allow you to be a whole person in the relationship and it does not allow you to move on and find fulfillment where, and I don't just mean sexually, anytime you cut off a part of yourself your not whole. I also agree that some sort of trauma is likely but until everyone is communicating honestly compassionately and responsibly no change is possible and no change is not an option. married and looking for a secret fwb- your finger grows back, IWT! :) In the meantime, you need one of these: I resent that I'm a sucky friend I retreat into my shell, the safety of my home, and the comfort that my bring. Then I forget about the rest, and lose contact with good people. :( Oh when I learn. I too resent that we no longer resent.. I can't remember the rest Forgiveness Fridays? Confessions? When were those, Wednesdays? I resent that people move on and leave the Fo' (although I have been one of them, I always find my way back..). I just spent sleeping time reading old posts from back in the *** and I'm wondering what happened to the fo'lk who no longer visit. *sigh* match dating site
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