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First off, she very rarely initiates. I used to take this as a rejection. This resulted in frustration for both of us me because I felt unwanted and her because she wanted it but didn't know how to ask. It took me awhile to figure out that this does not in any way mean that she doesn't want it; she'd just rather I initiate it. She's ladylike and traditional in ways, and it doesn't bother me at all anymore. For us it starts earlier in the day. If we're having a good day, there is a lot of flirting that goes on. I'll grab onto her at an inappropriate time, like when the are nearby, and look at her in that way. She'll smile and go "Okay, okay! Wait til later!" We'll be sitting in the living room or working in the yard and I'll look over and say "I got business with you later on, little." And she'll smile. I'll send a text from work and say "I want to kiss your naughty bits" and she'll text back "Oh my!!!" If she wants sex, she'll always ask me if I wanna sit on the porch and have a few beers. It's almost like code, but I don't know if she knows it or not. For us it's all about building up the anticipation over the course of an afternoon. When we do lay down, if she's still up for it, she comes to bed wearing little or nothing. I can start by caressing her naked hip, or kissing her ear softly, or running my hands through her hair, or petting the inside of her thigh or the backs of her knees and it goes from there. If she's got the sweats on, aka the "Iz-isn't getting laid tonight" pants, then I don't bother. So, we have it kind of ritualized in a lot of ways. I'm the aggressor, and it's up to me to interpret the signals I get back. It's a responsibility that I appreciate, although it took me awhile. I'm constantly courting her. We have little dances that we do and it makes things really fun. I used to resent it, but now I feel like it keeps the marriage alive. I enjoy the thrill of the, such as it is in married life. sweet guy giving free massages
I do not suggest being his emotional support. You have done enough for him and he has taken you for granted. He use you, if you let him, as his emotional support and he reel you back in he use the fact that you are willing to give him an ear and he do his best to manipulate the situation. BE CAREFUL against any promises he is making. don't believe it . AND BE CAREFUL that if he begins regurgitating the words that you've told him he try to tell you what he thinks you want to hear .but don't LET IT WORK. Honestly, I think you should ask him not to you .the best way to move on is to separate yourself from him completely. He has his brother and family to on. He needs to learn his lessons now, without you. And you need to get yourself into a sitaution. Please be wise! Or it be a never ending cycle. Pack up all of his stuff and drop it off with a friend of his for him to pick up later. Do your best not to reattach yourself, even emotionally, to him and allow him to stay attached to you emotionally. That is what you are doing if you keep talking him through things even though you're trying to be nice..and it even fulfill aneed you have to help people but you need to help yourself get into a lifestyle and surround yourself with people. Did I encourage counseling previously? nsa saturday night hotel room fun"credibility." I was not looking to establish such, nor am I therefore missing much now that it's apparently "destroyed" by my poor spelling! Nor have I anywhere suggested I am "superior." I am saddened by the level and degree of fury in here that rather than being directed at an appropriate target is thrown at any/everyone in here, people often simply seeking a "shoulder to cry on" or a friendly ear in a likewise situation. Besides, this little experiment worked well, doncha think? naughty wives
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