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The logical, rational part of me knows the "rules" and the pointlessness of trying to keep up ties with someone who obviously does not care. But there is this poetic/childish, immature/romantic part of me that keeps telling me that it has to mean something, the things we said to each other, the ease with which we fell into each other, the laughing and the cuddling, etc. etc. etc. that it has to mean something. Otherwise, what's the point of it all? For a certain amount of time we're totally into each other and them boom! nothing? I was the one that sat down and analyzed everything and decided that for me to reject the "let's be friends" offer meant that all I cared about was the sex. That if I really did care about this then I should be able to say, "Ok it didn't work out, but I still want you in my life." And now I don't even ask him to me or to out. I really don't. Because to him would be to perpetuate. I've even de-evolved from hoping for a phone to just wanting to back and forth once in a while. Just to how he's doing, to shoot the shit, to make sure he's happy. No, he wasn't my first boyfriend. On a side note, I read this on a lot of help-me-get-over-my-ex websites where people claim that to be completely honest with someone who wants to break up with you about how much you like them is desperate and needy. But I don't stalk him, him or even talk about my feelings for him anymore. Is it really desperate and needy to wonder why someone who claims that they "still care about you" wouldn't even find the time to follow up a "I'll you next week" with a or an? Just as common human courtesy? This shit blows, I was so happy being single. And now I haven't bought a new bottle of lube in months. honestly just want a play buddy
I think this discussion is interesting as I'm the one that has been mentioned who tried to establish an HIV forum about two or so years ago. At the time several posters here raised an argument that such a forum would be unfair to neg members as they would be denied the discussion of HIV news and issues if they were not presented in the m4m forum. I found that argument a little ridiculous at the time, but then again I did ask for everyone's opinions on my idea and I got them. The point though is that I couldn't expect others to do my work for me if it was something I wanted. My suggestion to you is that if you want to start an HIV forum that YOU start a HIV forum that is how works in general. You need to start a forum in one of the open and unlisted forum areas, then you advertise it to others and you work on building a community for it. Once you make it something that staff can is used and wanted by a decent number of posters, they usually make it an official forum. I also have one thought about your handle as others have mentioned. Despite what you said in your response to Madavemaven, the handle PozPOLICE (emphasis is mine) does in fact imply that you consider yourself some form of authority on poz issues. That not be your intentions, though I think with the amount of posts I you submit on poz issues (and I congratulate you for that) and this recent proposal you do want to be seen as some form of authority or go to on HIV issues. This is just my honest observation so I you take it in stride. safe sane friendly and attractiveAt first he agreed that is ok, now he says is not. He told me today that he agreed to 50% at first bc he thought the check was going to be for $ , but since the check is way more than that then he doesn't agree with getting half of the money! How does the amount change on anything he said and agreed to at first looking sex
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