Rambling A over a year ago, I passed up the chance of having the one person I always wanted, because I wanted my freedom. I wanted just myself again, afer years of trying to love someone else, who was determined to erase my existence I guess we could say. I said mean, heartless things that I regret.I was drowning in mid air trying to the reality of everything happening around me, that I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt. I think back to those conversations a lot of times I just want to cry, how could I let someone break me down so badly, that all I could say to the one person I actually loved was harsh, shattering words? How in the world did I let things get so out of control, that I couldnt even control myself? Then the hundreds of memories of the love I so wanted flashes through, its just.. a hurricane of mixed emotions.. Then I block everything out, its too overwhelming for me to deal with. Tears are not something I wish to shed. I couldnt apologize even though I want to, nothing I could say or do, could erase what I said and did. Time doesnt rewind, there are no do overs. All that because at the time, I wanted myself and my freedom. Well I got my freedom and myself. Turns out I've too much freedom these days. Most nights I lay awake with a thousand memories, words, or just random thoughts rambling through my mind, to fall asleep and dream of the love I once upon a time knew. I guess the upside is I dont dream every night, well not that i always re, but these days its that I sleep. Its crazy to me, that I gave up the chance because I wasnt exactly sure if what I believed I wanted was what I wanted or thoughts of someone else. Makes no sense im sure. But now that I've had this year to myself, the freedom of doing whatever I please, no one hounding me, or trying to change who I am, Ive realized a lot of things. Like that I always changed what I said I wanted in a guy over the years.. example "I don't like little guys I like bigger guys". Only I wasnt cl Array any females horny Serravalle PistoieseSingle Mommy Looking For A Friend Hello I'm a single mother of 5 and looking for a friend to talk to about every day stuff that goes on in your life. The only life I know is taking care of my. I don't want to say much about me on here if you want to know just ask because I'm an open book. I just need someone to talk to. men looking for blowjobs Arizona dating asian men
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casual fun bbw with a woman who a.) is simply using him because she isn't mature enough to stand on her own two feet. b.) has such a defeatist attitude. c.) would probably be a "yes-woman" without her own mind. You're setting yourself up to be, walked all over and worse., one year is not always enough to get over someone. It took me years of being single. And guess what that years also did for me? Taught me that I being alone. No one to "please," no one to argue with, no eggshells to walk on, complete and utter freedom and relaxation. And I have a TON of friends who would be there in a heartbeat for me if I ever needed anything. For a relationship, there has to be give and take, not just take. The poor schmuck who married you would be doing a whole hell of a lot of giving, and that is totally not fair to him. It is VERY selfish of you. Get involved in hobby activities, volunteer, whatever. Do something that fulfills you. Figure out what about you (YOU are the common denominator) is attracting non-serious guys. Because they are out there in ABUNDANCE. And STOP looking at each guy as a potential husband. Just live in the moment, for -'s sake! Loneliness and desperation can be spotted from a thousand away it's actually driving away all the good guys. What did you want from your post in this forum? A pity party? You've done enough of that on your own. Nobody here is going to say "Awh, poor, poor clgth." lookin for some good
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- years ago, there was an ice storm in November, just when the loons were migrating south. The weaather forced of them down, and it seems loons need to land and take off on water. Unfortunently they can not tell the difference between a lake and an ice covered road. There were confused loons in the middle of the roads all around my apartment. Animal control sent us to The National Wildlife Research Center, just down the road, and they said they would by when they could. I asked if it would help if I collected them from the area so they did not have to do as much driving around to get them, they were incredulous, b ut did say somelthing like "if you can". I should have known they were telling me something. Loons are big birds and they do not much like people. The first one was not to much trouble, I scooped it up in my arms before it really knew what was happening and my room mate opened the Land Rover hatch for me to put it in. I only got hit in the face once by a flapping wing. The next one was different, I think had been tormenting it and it wanted nothing to do with me. I managed to scooop it up, but not before I had fallen more times then I care to remember. When trying to get it into the back of the Rover, The first one freaked and I had to upset birds to deal with trying to extrace myself from the truck and close the hatch without hurting someone. The third one, we put in in the passengers door, let the birds settle then got in and shooed it into the back so we could go look for more. The forth one was much the same. We took them to the auto shop I was partners in and let them loose in the shop. I went back out looking for more alone because my room mate had had enough of big birds. With out him, I could take 5 birds. What I remember most about the night was having 5 hyperventlating loons and me in a very old Land Rover and the windows steaming up so I opened my window a little and all the birds rushed me trying to get out. Trying to drive, through fogged up wndows and having to defend myself against 5 deturmined birds is not something easy to forget. Maysville West Virginia xxx women discreet relationships in Enid ia
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