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To start at the begining He left because I could not take anymore and made him leave, we lived like two people that hated each other, the all wittnessed this and it was not good for anyone. Not physical fights, but we couldnt talk without it being nasty, he works hours mandatory 10hr days and then drives 1 hrs each way. He could transfer closer but chooses not to. Up until last year in I worked full time 12hr shifts, full time student, took care of all house hold, plus all the. Last year we decided to build the farm after his accident. My two boys and I lived up here on a generator for two and a half months while we turned it from a hard wood into a working farm that after 11 months was starting to pay for its self. hit and the draught so sells fell. As for his texting the two women one is just a friend, she lives out of state and is happily married. My problem with this is he talk to her about everything but wont me. The other is a woman that hangs with a bunch of the guys he knows as well as knows her, she is very much one of the guys. Again he talk to her about us but wasnt talking to me. And as for me doing it on my own, yes part is financially, also we have a huge farm of about that I take care of as well as still going through our stuff from the move, all while still going to school full time again. The financial issue is I had over $ . brought into this relationship and when it was spent it was mutually done and agreed he would do the majority of finacial supporting while I went back to school and now built the farm. I do not believe it is fair of him to want me to shoulder the entire farm, financially, working it alone, and building it, as well as finishing unpacking our stuff from the move all alone while he is gone a year and at the end come back like it is nothing. Out of anger he closed all our bank accounts even my student checking where my student was to have been deposited. He did not stop and think and is very sorry now but that does not help me when I have a 15 yr old to support with no money. I have ways to support myself now but I dont think it is right to do it all myself and then in a year he comes back as if he has a full share in the feel if he wants to retain his share he should do something to contribute to it over the next year. finally looking for herjust to add something to the mix here. :) While reading your posts, (which are always so articulate and thoughtful, by the way) what came across first to me is you are a THINKER. So, maybe the key to developing those social relationships that would allow for you to be friends first would be ACTION sorts of things while expanding your circle. Let me explain. It was easier for me, as someone that lived in my head A LOT, to maintain a friendship with someone I was attracted to by getting involved in something physical not just social/chatting stuff. Much to my husband's chagrin, who happens to be an amazing cook, I never took that cooking class but that could be one if you wanted to keep things light. Martial arts is another one my girlfriends would always scoff until I convinced them to come down to the studio I trained at for years and they met fantastic guys from all walks of life and just TRY looking all sexy and cool with sweat beads pouring down your forehead. :) That actually helped my perpetually-with-the-wrong-guys girlfriend make lots of guy friends one of whom, a dentist, introduced her to the guy for her. Fantastic story, really. In a nutshell, she was sweet, smart, cute as a button but really jaded when it came to guys and just having a dojo with "brothers" (who were protective and full of friends/advice) was a particularly healing experience for her. She ended up marrying the guy and now they both train at that studio. Super cute. If something more cerebral and cause oriented is your idea of action, I did get involved in humanitarian causes that were dear to my heart and that has a way of engendering friendship while still keeping focus on something besides romance. One in particular, a shelter for teenage runaways, was where I found a friend that I eventually dated for a year or so. Great guy. We weren't right for each other term but we are still friends today. There's my.02. you find that friends first situation. They are INFINITELY better. Should the relationship end, it generally ends on a MUCH more positive note. Oh! And the sex is better too well YMMV. :) girls looking for sex
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