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Me : outside with my dogs. One of them ran behind you, barking.
I'm sorry. I had just gotten home from work and had no idea there was a chase of whatever sort-I just wanted to let my dogs out so I could relax. My dog is stupid and will chase anything that runs by him. I'm really sorry. I'm glad you got the dude. My dad's a cop so I appreciate our men in blue.
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Around that time I was very confused on what I should do next I happened to the evil wench. I happened to be on a different side of town and needed to run to the store for some fruit rollups (ironic I know) for my neice's lunch the next day. I strolled into the grocery store like nothing. I was just about to make a comment inside my head how ghetto the store was when I saw her. I had heard rumors that she had moved on and was seeing someone. But this time she was solo. I pretended I did not her but it was too late. She spotted me. DAMN! I knew I should have gone to another checkout. I said hello and he had a forced short conversation. I could not help but notice THE FUCKING FRUIT SHE WAS BUYING! You fucking cunt, like I am not supposed to know what those bananas, apples, oranges were for? I was pissed. I decided no more sex with fruit. That was the final straw. Fuck that bitch and her kinky sexual outlets. That lasted all but a few days but then I began to get horney. NO! I couldn't do it. I toss all the fruit out my window. I WAS DONE! I had never paid for sex and wasn;t exactly sure how to go about doing that without getting caught so that was out of the question. I need stimulation! I needed something! Then as a spontanious desperate act I slammed my penis into the peanut butter. The soft sticky goo made me melt inside. What was this utopia of sexual pleasure that I had discovered? I did not know what was more pleasing. The sex with the peanut butter jar or having the dog lick it off afterwards. So to my ex . fuck you. I am over you and over sex with fruit. I have moved on myself. To a new avenue of pleasure. And it doesn't involve anything you ever taught me. free all weekend and looking to expand my horizon
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