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Is this most wonderful forum really this dead tonight? Fine. Then I'll throw out a question which, seriously, has vexed me for a while now. What is it about letting someone know that we're kinky that makes that other person somehow lose their mind and, more importantly, all sense of decorum, courtesy, and manners? Caveat: This is just the experience of an old gal, with old-fashioned tendencies, who happens to be a sub and isn't afraid to say so. I'm an odd duck even in this world of odd ducks, admittedly. I don't want fancy dinners or flowers. Yep, I too want the thorns. But does that preclude any attempt to get to know me as a person first? Does that automatiy mean that I want to be told, in the first message on Fet, or CM, or CL, that I am supposed to be the cum-dumpster or some other such silly crap? To me, to stand up and let others know what I am doesn't give them some path-of-least-resistance fast track to some pussy or realization of their fantasy. In fact, it's quite the opposite. We must talk a spell, whether online, over the phone, or in person. We must get to know one another, each deciding whether to take things to the next step. For my old and crotchetty ass, we must meet the criteria for a vanilla relationship first. And only then can the kink come into play. Caveat, part deux: I am not judging my friends who can engage in play after a bit of negotiation. Hell, I'm jealous that I can't do it! Sincerely, Mrs. Cleaver :) single pussy in Hurlet
"I usually don't yell at people, i don't get mad, i discuss, i brainstorm, i argue. but i don't yell scream or break things." This be true, but do you live with these other people you are referring to? "- be another failed romance, another defeat." This statement concerns me. Your post describes her actions or reactions as perceived through your eyes, it is not usually an unbiased observation. don't jump to conclusions, I am not necessarily pointing fingers, but you might consider your own behavior in this relationship. disagreements stem from misinterpretations of words spoken which lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings which escalate and influence other discussions of other topics. Before you cast your net of blame, take a good look at the caster himself. This is a very difficult task because we say things but the listener interpret your words differently than your intend purpose. Sadly they can not read your mind, only your words. If this happens a lot as you implied hmmmm. fuck buddy in CresthillI was legitimatley. But it has nothing to do with my kinks. Matter of fact, it kept me from embracing aspects of it. Trust issues and anger issues. Yeah, those stem from it. But not kink. Not any of it. bbw my girl
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