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And this sounds to me like it is one of those cases. Actually, not selfish at all, if you both want different things and he is using guilt to hold you back from what you want, then he is the one being selfish. If he strung you along suggesting he was headed towards marriage, only to say no once you were to emotionally involved to just up and leave, then he is using you. Up and leave, well get things in order for a soft landing first, if it is an attachment relationship, and it sounds like it is to you, you are going to need some healing. Find a safe place for yourself, be kind to yourself, do all the things you did not have time for because you spent that time on him. When you feel safe and strong, take your new bad self out and start dating again. Best of luck xxx horny KalistapusztaHere is how I it- I am a regular lurker and sometimes contributer. I have top posted and responded and never really had a problem with the regulars slamming me. Your posts seem to be designed to draw attention/manipulate attention in your direction. Even in these initial posts here indicating that you changed your handled ended with something along the lines of- there is a story here..ASK ME ABOUT IT! ASK ME, ASK ME .And quite frankly, attention seeking and manipulation is exhausting to deal with. It is a high maint. behavior whether it is on or off line. Your other posts about marriage equality came off to me as condescending. Your whole "I am being shrewd" is more of an example of this. Its a cover for something. I don't know what-maybe insecurity. Its okay. But own it- you didn't come in here hoping to be shrewd. You came in here hoping to find a community- you said this before. So which is it? Be confident in yourself, be your own person, be open to listening and engaging. People respond if you write something that interests them or moves them and you answer them. don't leave things hanging, like oh, there is a story about little old me- if you care at all you ask me about it. Its manipulative behavior. Just like in real life. And honestly, in a forum, you are going to be hurt if you are basing your self worth (or online self worth) in whether or not you can educate people. Some people are just like that- you could say the sky is blue and they would say it is green But I am curious- did you really believe that coming into a space for queer woman and posting about marriage equality was going to help you understand why "they" are against it? fwb relationship
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