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as i die a little everyday my love with my fair share of holiday bullshiz, similar to yours. First off, you need decide what YOU do with your holiday time, what your own boundaries are and what your own traditions are. Then YOU stick to what keep YOUR sanity. Families, especially parents are good at tugging at you to make themselves feel happy. At some point you gotta do what works for you and stop doing what just isn't reasonable. Secondly, you can't make some one invite some one to their house. So if you are going to your Mom's for a visit, suck it up. How is that visit going to really be? A hour? Two hours? If you can't live with out your boyfriend for 2 hours, then you have bigger problems than holiday plans. Conversely, you could invite your Mom to your house. Personally I would push for an activity like going to the, ice skating, caroling, church, a party, etc., on neutral territory so every one feels like they are on an even keel, and can leave the situation at any time. I sure as hell wouldn't play into your Mom's drama and tantrums. After your Mom figures out that her tantrums and drama don't get her anywhere, she'll quit. But as as you and your sister play into the guilt and pouting then she'll keep up her antics. Operating from a place of guilt is a horrible place to operate from, and you should refuse to do it. It often times requires ing people on their bullshit and bowing out of certain situations till every one calm down. Then maybe regroup with people when feelings aren't so raw at the surface. As you get older YOU are responsible for not allowing crazy-making into your life.
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