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I am so so sad. I want to die mostly w4m Illusions are hard to face. Well, illusions are actually easy to face. What's hard to face is the fact that what you have been living with, or working for for so many years is the illusion.
I have nothing less than I ever did, I just am so sad.
I wasn't strong enough to face it before but I have known that everything you've done in relation to me has been forced. All that false antiquated obligation you impose on yourself.
But man you have been a good actor.
I felt truly, warmly, unconditionaly loved by you for almost exactly months. Out of ten years. That is so sad. I think for months you loved me. It was due to a psychiatric drug that medicated your restless paranoid mind.
For those months I wasn't scared, worried or unsafe and unsure like every other day of those ten years.
So pitiful. That's all I get. Lousy months. Trenton New Jersey slut xxxSkeptacle w4m Sometimes I wish I could be less proud,
Defensive,
Sometimes I have these values to protect
Because I try to be something loveworthy,
In that process,
I shut people away,
I have my standards, my morals, to protect
I have myself to protect
I thought.. Rather than love, success, fame.. Give me truth
But truth cannot come if I cannot be truthful
If I don't admit that I love
(Even those who are not truthful)
Some argue love is a choice,
So I willed myself
To be right
I will myself to always be invincible
And then I miss cOnnection
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No doubt she does. I would like nothing better. But she is over 30 and we are each others first relationships, she told when we started dating she had much grown to accept herself growing old by herself, which also makes me feel like an even worse human being because I can't seem to give her what she wants now. I know I'm making excuses, she has always been the I one night stand or the booty girl. I know I really should break it off but that place where testicles are suppose to be on most guys is nothing but a chunk of flabby skin on me, don't get me wrong I do her she is an awesome girl, I just don't feel like it is working out still after a year. sex Houston mature
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