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more to do with perception than anything You can fall down and skin your knee and be ok with it but stubbing your toe can make you jump around and curse why? Well, you have more time while you are falling to perceive that injury is coming, where as the stubbed toe is never expected, kind of like the spanish inquisition. ;) When we sexualize pain, this is also a kind of perception it leads one to seek certain acts that have a sexual connotation in our brains and therefore our threshold for that pain rise For the most part if the pain isnt being sexualized, then that threshold is going to have nothing do with non sexual pain in the same way expected pain has nothing to do with unexpected pain bbm ladie dublinYou still have one small step to take. Though it is small in comparison to what you have done so far, it is by far the most difficult. A change in perspective, you say you find two types. The key word I is the "find", you find what you seek (even if that you seek is the opposite of what you want). I am sure some of those in catagory one can be separated out more than just the sex seeking only type but that is your first and only impression. don't give it up so easily. Of course men seek sex or we would not be looking, but of us in that venture find more than that. Those in number two are in varies stages of recovery, but of them be afraid but have not given up on the idea or they would not be dating. They are more wary, but don't you they are you but in reverse. Some of these in catagory two can be separated to several more catorgories also. Some are still mending but others are ready but more cautious (can't blame them). With their caution combined with your caution makes for a sad outcome. Treat them like how you would like to be treated. You have to risk emotional vulnerability to find what you wish. Hard to do but LTR you can not just dip your toes in it you have to jump straight. You need to try to trust your instinst rather than the fears you have created to protect you from getting hurt emotionally. sex chat rooms
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