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We had both been out of term relationships (me= 5yrs, him = 7yrs) for about 18 months and neither of us wanted a relationship. We had a discussion about our sexual leanings and open relationships and decided that was the what we both wanted. Six weeks later I tricked with someone and told him (per our agreement) and he freaked. He said he didn't think this would happen (him freaking) but he realized that he can't do the open with me. We tried monogamous for a little over a year and then experimented with opening the relationship for a few months but it just didn't work. i need a friend that s itI'm wondering how everyone handled the aftermath, so i'll post a little background about my situation first then get to my question. My story is simple, met someone and very quickly we became entangled. Jumped into a volatile relationship to begin with (she was fairly unstable, would have anger fits for no reason, throw things when she didn't get her way, her ex when i wasn't around so on.), i chose to overlook all these things and jumped in, i guess i figured i could fix her. Well after we became an official couple, she started spending money from my bank account (i should never have given her access but i did mistake was already made.) at first it was small amounts here and there, then it started getting out of control. When she was confronted about it she became angered and starting coming at me with nails, or whatever she could grab. I avoided hitting her (although at the end of there a few times I gave it some serious thought), I'm not a small guy 6' pounds, spent a lot of time at the gym, I knew if it ever got out of hand i'd end up doing some serious damage, so instead i chose to walk away, or take the hits and head out of the house for a few hours. SO finally I opted for divorce after 8 months of married life. Problem is I did not have a prenuptial agreement, and stood to lose a lot; at the time I had an apartment, several cars (a bit of a collection), and so on. At the start of the proceedings she said I was emotionally unavailable, always working even when at home (this part is somewhat true) and it seemed that things were going increasingly in her favor, I stated my side and how terrible life with her had been but it almost fell on def ears. So my lawyer decided the best thing to do was to sit down and settle, i was given a choice between giving her proceeds from a sale of my apartment or my life savings ($75, total), at the time my Apartment would have been worth roughly $ , so i opted in for the life savings, i wanted this to be over, but what my lawyer failed to tell me is that i would be paying for her lawyer fees as well (ooops mr. lawyer how kind of you). The fees totaled up to be over 45k between mine and hers i hear that isn't much according to some people, but it didn't matter. The only way i could get that money was pulling it off all my credit cards. So here i was 45k in debt cheating married women
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