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The logical, rational part of me knows the "rules" and the pointlessness of trying to keep up ties with someone who obviously does not care. But there is this poetic/childish, immature/romantic part of me that keeps telling me that it has to mean something, the things we said to each other, the ease with which we fell into each other, the laughing and the cuddling, etc. etc. etc. that it has to mean something. Otherwise, what's the point of it all? For a certain amount of time we're totally into each other and them boom! nothing? I was the one that sat down and analyzed everything and decided that for me to reject the "let's be friends" offer meant that all I cared about was the sex. That if I really did care about this then I should be able to say, "Ok it didn't work out, but I still want you in my life." And now I don't even ask him to me or to out. I really don't. Because to him would be to perpetuate. I've even de-evolved from hoping for a phone to just wanting to back and forth once in a while. Just to how he's doing, to shoot the shit, to make sure he's happy. No, he wasn't my first boyfriend. On a side note, I read this on a lot of help-me-get-over-my-ex websites where people claim that to be completely honest with someone who wants to break up with you about how much you like them is desperate and needy. But I don't stalk him, him or even talk about my feelings for him anymore. Is it really desperate and needy to wonder why someone who claims that they "still care about you" wouldn't even find the time to follow up a "I'll you next week" with a or an? Just as common human courtesy? This shit blows, I was so happy being single. And now I haven't bought a new bottle of lube in months. Albany girl Albanyyou're looking at yourself as half of a whole. You want a RELATIONSHIP to complete you, to know what you're going to do with your Saturday nights, etc. etc. Stop that. You are 19, just moved to a new area, have nothing serious tying you down. Darn -!!!! Live in the moment. Pursue a few hobbies (if you don't have any, make some up, you can always drop them if you don't like it) work on whatever career path you're considering, find some personal fulfillment. If a girl strikes your fancy, ask her out. don't be looking for a partner, you don't even need that yet. Look for a fun night out. If it's fun, you can ask her again. If it's not, no harm done. Nothing draws people like a good time. Go have one. Make it a way of life. When you can do that consistently, you'll worry less about your relationship status (and not at all about that of your friends) and won't add anyone to your life that takes away from your. How can you make such a discerning choice if you don't already have a fair amount of? Go give yourself reason to like you plenty. That's your first step. wants for some afternoon fun
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