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I was in a similar situation. Never considered leaving, but did consider an affair. Why? Because someone whom I found very interesting seemed to find me interesting. So a little flirting happened and it felt good. And then I had to consider how that could possibly happen after more than 20 years. I my husband, but I kinda lost me in there somewhere. I came here seeking advice, and it helped me to that I must be experiencing this crisis. We had become like roommates, dealing with day to day issues and not providing the emotional(and more) support for each other. I had to realize that if I thought he wasn't providing it to me, then maybe he felt the same way. I was confident there was no cheating on the other end we just lost how to be there for each other. So I had to suck it up and go to him and tell him what I needed. And my biggest fear was alleviated he listened and cared. I really was afraid that it might not have mattered to him, and then I would have to do something about it. There was no need (or intention) to tell him what prompted me to realize we needed the wake-up. And we continue to work on it. I do think about this other person, it is kinda a fun fantasy that is hard to give up. But I have arranged my schedule so there is only a slim of encountering this other person. I eventually be able to let it go. My husband and I chose to spend our life together, and we sometimes have to remind ourselves that we make that choice everyday. It is an easy one, because we do want to be together. We both have changed over the years. Luckily, we both are people who still like each other! Advice from here made it possible for me to figure it out before I destroyed what we have. And I continue to come back and read the advice of the regulars. tall light and intelligent or blondes just wanta have funUnlike you, I didn't have an option to stay: my ex left for his mistress, and yes, I'm here with, no family or close friends around and lucky to have found a P/T job. But, my have tremendous respect for me, know why? I stayed true to myself, never cheated and walk away knowing I tried everything in my power to make things work. You are a coward and no different (morally) than your DH. Life is always about options. Even when you hit rock bottom, there is the potential to have a solid foundation in which to push yourself up from (. Rowling quote). has a way of making your choices come back to you, so stop being in denial of any wrongdoing. the girl next door
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