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Hi everyone, I am posting in this forum to go. I have a problem and i just have no one to talk to. I am depressed and i have talked to my husband and family and friens and my doctor. i've been getting treatment (40mgPaxil) for a few months and i think it has helped. at least now i can get out of bed and shower. when my depression was bad i quit my job. i made up a bogus excuse and ended up being able to go on EI (canadian unemplyment insurance) but now it is running out. My EI claim was fraudulent i guess, because you have to swear to be willing and capable of working . and i'm not. I suffer from IBS and panic attacks and i have gotten really good at playing like i am happy. I don't know what to do. I don't want to leavve the house, nevermind go and find a job. i burned my brides with my longtime employer because i was desperate to just go home and sleep foever. unfortunatly i can't sleep forever unless im dead and i can't be dead because my parents and husband me. i don't know what to do. i don't know how we are going to pay our bills without my income. the government would charge me with fraud for sure if they knew that i was really home becuase of being unwell, and that i have barely been looking at jobs. i almost wish i was deeply depressed like i was a few months ago so i wouldn't be stressed out. just numb instead. now i cry. then i slept. i wish i could sleep forever. but i my family and my husband needs me to be strong and happy for him. and he need me to bring in money or we'll get evicted. I don't know what kind of help i'm looking for but i feel like i need to be rescued. I feel like i would rather lose everything than have to face getting a job and going back out into the world. Bretton Woods girl camSan Fransisco Bay area and after that we lived in CT, both expensive states. If life is so unaffordable these days then why are people having? So the can live in poverty? Most of the time the second income amounts to very little money if they they 2 in day care full time and have to commute to and from work and buy new clothes and get their nails done and have their tax bracket bumped up. black women dating white men
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