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Ok, I have zero experience with these kinds of situations, but I thought I'd throw in my two cents here. Speaking as someone who had to grow up with a (heterosexual) parent that dated someone who really resented having me around (and made me live with them for years!), I can tell you that it was not a fun time. If your girlfriend can't step up to the plate anymore, then it should be a wrap. Seriously. That being said, change is often really difficult to initiate, often to the point where it's easier to make excuses to keep a crappy situation going (. perceived financial issues, "maybe they need more time" etc) so that you don't have to deal with it, but I don't think you or your girlfriend are necessarily trapped by unchangeable circumstances here. I think Old-gold said it best the thing with "deli girl" sounds like a fun, pleasant distraction but frankly, it's a cop-out to dealing with what you have going on with your relationship. Again, it's easier to make excuses in order to avoid scary, messy life changes, but the adult thing to do for everyone involved is to just face those issues head on. eomen 63040 seeking sexwas programmed at birth to be a Democrat, a big city liberal. My parents were and Catholic. Pardon any redundancy. In my slice of the East Bronx, you went to high school, you did a few years in the military, and then you came home to look for a job with Con Ed or the city. Two of my uncles were on the job, NY City cops. The guy across the street was a fireman. The neighborhood was mainly blue collar, Italian, Jewish, and just a Puerto Rican. The local political machine was run out of the Nest Society, a store front political club; or run out of the Step Inn, a bar on White Plains Road next to the fire station. The Step Inn was a microcosm of the neighborhood; the guy who owned building was Jewish, the guy who ran the saloon was, and the who made the pizza in the back was Italian. If you wanted a job with the borough or the city, or you needed something fixed on your street, you had to someone at the Nest clubhouse or at the Step Inn. There were no other political organizations in our precinct. Little did I know at the time, but my Bronx neighborhood was a mirror image of inner cities nationwide. I never heard anyone themselves a "conservative" and, just as surely, there were no Republican or Libertarian precinct captains in our area. I'm sure the good sisters of Our of Solace School must have mentioned that was the founder of the Republican Party, but for years I thought that that party had been killed by the Bull Moose Party at the turn of the 20th Century. Growing up, it would have never occurred to me, or anybody I knew, that political homogeneity was a bad thing. The Democratic Party was a rain maker, an employment office, and a pot hole fixer. There were no obvious reasons to question the civic monoculture or not to be a true believer. swinging club
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