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You can not support him any longer. You feel for the and his current problem but it is not yours. You have moved on with another and have no obligation to help him. He has spunged off you for years without any financial help. Hardest thing in life is to tell someone you had cared for to go. i need a tight pussy"Am I loosing it?" Emphatiy NO. What you are feeling is percent normal. Everyone in a relationship feels trapped from time to time and your window shopping on certainly shows how you feel. Everyone, even the preachers wife, feels like you on occasion. don't beat yourself up for feeling normal. You might need to ask yourself some hard questions here. Things like, "Why am I in this relationship?" and, "What would I do if it ended?" Are you able to make it on your own or are you financially and/or socially tied to your BF. Do you have your own wheels and job? In other words have you painted yourself into a corner with this and despair of your own lack of independence? If that is the case you might be setting up bad situations with him because you feel bad about yourself. However if he is abusive either physiy or mentally, you need to do whatever it takes to get away. Your attraction to the idea of having sex with a woman be just normal curiosity that has nothing to do with your current status or you might be taking psychological shelter in the idea. Either way it might be a good idea to get some counseling. Best of luck to you and be careful. insider internet dating
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