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I am in my early 40's and in the best shape of my life. I posted previously in another forum a while back where I was flirting with the idea of approaching a stranger that frequents my gym. That was about 2 months ago and still I practiy dream about her every night and I her from afar every other day. But during the course in trying to understand this nonsense crush I have, the other day it REALLY hit me for the very first time . I suddenly looked at my wife and thought she was attractive then thought to myself "if my wife was a stranger at the gym shooting glances at me, I would develop a crush and think about her all the time". Generally speaking, our relationship (trust, comfort, etc) is solid and we never bicker or argue (really, we get along well and enjoy each others company) but the kicker is . we have ZERO passion. She loves me but she doesn't run up and hug and kiss me when she sees me. When we go to bed she'll roll over and go to sleep without saying anything as if we were roommates. These are just some examples to give you the idea. I on the other hand, am the romantic type, always holding the door open, telling her how beautiful she is, showing her constant affection. Even though she likes the way I treat her, I figured out that if I refrain from showing affection, she'll never make such gestures to me. She's not doing anything on purpose, I just have come to realize these are her natural ways. She doesn't make me feel good inside about myself even though I know she approves of me being her husband. I am not blaming her or mad at her for any of this. But it is concerning to me that I don't feel like she's connecting with me spiritually and sexually. I know if I say anything to her, she try to change but its only because I say something (we've had these types of conversations before). I don't want to change her but it almost feels like I am living FOR her, not living WITH her. Am I being an asshole for wanting to have my ego stroked by the opposite sex? Do I cut away and deal with the separation drama and hurt her, just because I'm horny? Thanks for listening and for any advise or feedback. Lonely, misunderstood and horny but otherwise happily married (LOL)
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Wow Sorry to hear that. You don't need that in your life. Good for you on not drinking anymore. I know that has to be hard. My brother is in bad shape with drinking I wish I could help him. Go find some happiness You deserve it! Rockingham telephone datingIm having trouble telling whether I am just panicking or if I need to leave my SO. Im 27, we have been together since we started college. Its been 8 years. Minimal fighting, only one breakup, last year for a few weeks. Overall, its been smooth sailing. He is what every woman searches for, essentially: Honest, educated, caring, in shape, faithful, loving, great in bed We started out having tons of fun together studying and stuff. Graduated. Started working. We both started Graduate programs and have almost finished them. Its been hard work this whole time with everything. And since our breakup last year, I know he is fast-tracking a proposal shit, its been 8 years for christ's sake. But now I am panicking. I cant stop wondering what it would be like to walk away from this, try something or someone new I feel like I have been with him so, that I dont have the ability to have anything to measure against I have lost my bearings on what it felt like to be just me. I have become the proverbial 'we'. I find myself daydreaming about picking up and leaving. Is this a normal battle that all have to face an lifetime with one person? Or is he just not right? Bottom line is that I'm bored, in a lull, uninterested in all things his, except sex, which remains great. Despite all his amazing strengths, I wish he cared more about being social, romantic and creative. I want to be excited but I'm just, not. He's really great about everyday stuff dinner, walking the dog, laundry and all that. But he does not do well with romance or spontaneity. He doesnt like my friends. He doesnt really have his own. It was my birthday a few months ago and he didnt do anything really. After our breakup being so recent, I had gotten my expectations up a little. Whenever I think about ending it, I stop and imagine his life without me and then I feel like complete shit because I am his single most favorite thing in the world, to put it lightly. Advice? couples looking for couples
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