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being supportive, dufus. You assumed that since she said there was nothing you could do for her, then you should leave her to deal with this by herself. Women don't usually think that way. MEN do, but not women. Instead, women usually gravitate *towards* each other (or to understanding SOs) for emotional support; not close themselves off to be alone. Rule #1: DO NOT attempt to tell her what she should do to feel better. You're not Mr. Fixit; she doesn't want you to find solutions for her problems. She wants you to hold her hand, listen to her woes, let her cry on your shoulder, and hold her close. That's all. Rule #2: DO NOT blow off her emotions as unimportant, unrealistic, or counter-productive. Just let her vent, cry, complain, or bitch; while you stay out of the line of fire. Once she's vented, she'll calm down and feel better. Rule #3: Understand that "no, there's nothing you can do for me" means this: no, you're not a doctor and you can't fix this cancer for me. But I'm, and I don't want you to know how I am; so I'm going to tell you that you can't help, while at the same time I *expect* and *need* you to stand ready to catch me when it becomes too much to handle by myself. So yes, there's nothing you can do FOR me. But there's a whole lot you can do to make me feel better while I go through this by myself. Make sense? Send her flowers, make homemade goofy cards to tell her you're thinking of her, fix her favorite dinner, distract her with and other activities, buy her a bear, mow her lawn or rotate her tires for her, or text her for no reason other than to say I you or hear her voice, ask how she's feeling today, stuff like that. woodland hot sax
Excellent suggestion on the bear. I suggest Folkmanis. They've got a website. They make award winning stuffed toys (that are really puppets). These are the best I've found. I Folkmanis stuffed toys. Mine is a 24" frog with arms and legs and a really round, cuddly belly. I the color of my green frog! I was just on their website a day or two ago with my teenage neice, we were really liking the selection! i need attention and fastthat is bi-polar, and let me say that it was a very difficult relationship. Some times great, some times a nightmare. Just like the affliction itself. I was not aware of her condition when we became involved but as our relationship progressed, it became plainly evident in spite of her therapy and meds. I laud you for considering them as play partners, and them for being do open about it. It can be tough for someone to come forth and admit they are somehow "deficient", for lack of a better word. I have seen it firsthand and sa its a hell of a cross to bear. I have to agree with Question_The_Third, you need to be a very strong, patient, and understanding soul to take this on. I am not you, but I would politely pass them by and look elsewhere. american sex woman
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