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is supposed to include oneself, yet humans tend to put themselves out of the running for the generosity and kindness they can so readily offer others. I'm working on it. It isn't always easy to be nice to me. It's less of a struggle than it once was, and I it eventually become my default response. At the moment, it takes practice and conscious application. I came around to this idea when I realized a few months ago that as my daughter approached adulthood, and began to make some of the mistakes I often make, that I was able to comfort and support her easily and have no sense that these stumbles made her stupid or lazy or weak; all things I say to myself about my own errors. My parents were either disinclined or unable to offer me the kind of support and I extend my daughter with and satisfaction. I wondered, then, if the answer wasn't to try and myself the way I her. To parent me with the same structure and tenderness I have applied to her upbringing. I think this shift has had more to do with the progress I've made recently than almost any other single decision. As an overarching approach to taking care of myself, it also leads me to make better choices than I would if I was just barreling through without the lens of "How would I do this if it was Hodie*?" So yeah. I'm learning to try and take my own advice more to heart. And, yes; I spend a fair amount of time alone, but I have good friends, and an excellent support system me. And, sharing my perspective with others not only makes me feel like I might be able to offer some meaningful insight, it also helps me process my own thoughts and feelings in a way that's very therapeutic. So, thank you all for YOUR perspectives. I derive great value from my time here. *My daughter has an ALIAS! How cool is that? good hearted mature males seeks single mom
When I find my girlfriend getting stressed about the lifestyle we end up living (two PhD students don't exactly have a lot of money, and there's a lot of uncertainty about what kind of jobs we're going to get once we graduate), it's usually because I haven't been giving her enough positive attention of other kinds, haven't been drawing her to look at what we have that is wonderful. So I have to remember to focus my efforts on her directly , not indirectly. I have to stop worrying about what I do for her one day, or what kind of job I might get down the road, and just be sure to her, to ask how her day is instead of launching into how mine was, to really focus on her. I think of it as getting outside of myself, putting my energy into the world, not myself. It's amazing how doing this just an hour a day makes the relationship way more wonderful, and makes her (and me) way less stressed. It's not hard, either, it's just about really paying attention and focusing on her , not on what I am thinking. Listening. Neither one of us is really money-focused, but it's still easy to get stressed about it. Drawing strength from what we really enjoy is the quickest way to be excited with what we have and eager to do it more. It isn't about what I can promise one day. It's about what we both have right here, right now., dreams, books, ideas, friends. And being content in the moment makes things more likely to happen in the future, because most people like to be around a confident, content person and opportunities open up that way. fuck cheaters 25168Shit or get off the pot is good advice. I think I’ll just get off the pot. There are no temptations. Only engraved desires from habit of being with someone. I’ don’t need to communicate anymore with the one woman. She fell for me and I can’t have a LTR with her. So that is over. It’s not fair to her to be friends when she wants more. As for the other one, I really think she is LTR material, but until I’m ready for that, I don’t need to communicate anything but friends. You’re right, it’s torturing myself and forcing me to shit where I eat. online dating guide
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