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looking for a good one 18 Oak Harbor 18 I doubt she "hates" that you get to work out during the day, I think she probably resents that you get 90 minutes of recreational personal time built into your work day when she does not. I know you're trying to help, but when you offer her a gym membership you are showing her that what you hear her say is "I want to work out too," when what she is really saying is "I want 90 minutes to myself every day too." don't overlook, disregard, or minimize that statement. Ever. I think CorpseBride made an excellent point about minimizing her complaints by offering quick solutions. She sounds frustrated and depressed, I think maybe she wants a little understanding from you instead of "solutions." The one obstacle I do her putting up is that when you come home and she wants "our time" she just wants to sit quietly and decompress in front of the TV but wants you to do that with her instead of having you do housework. That's a bit of a touchy situation, but I think you can work around it. Personally I like to come home and unwind by sitting on the couch and watching crappy TV for a few hours too. When my boyfriend comes over while I'm doing that he gets annoyed because I'm not paying much attention to him, so I've told him he should just come over after 7:00 after I've had my quiet solitude and decompression time. But of course, I prefer to do that alone while your wife prefers you do it with her. If she doesn't want you to leave her side while she decompresses but doesn't want you to talk to her either I think you have a right to ask for a compromise. Maybe during your "our time" you can relax with her a little but get up during the commercials to wash dishes, check on the, clear the table, pop in some laundry, etc. You can just say "Let me just straighten this up a sec hon, I'll be right back, do you want anything from the kitchen while I'm up?" In the term you need to have a conversation about what her goals are and what it is she really wants. For now I'd focus on taking a few small steps to help her feel more comfortable and get to a place where she can focus on her needs and the two of you can communicate more effectively. Good luck. girl xxx bermuda sexy
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sorry to be monopolizing the top-post today, all the suits took the day off and it's quiet as hell. Anyway, I have a question about how people would handle something. I out a bit at a local pub, very straight, very white, lots of trucks in the parking lot, lots of gotees; it's a working class pub. I've been dropping in for a year now so I'm a regular and I'm making friends. I met the person who cares for my birds when I'm on business trips there. I went to their bbq on Wednesday. Etc. It's not the ideal place for a transplanted lesbian looking for community to be socializing but it's close to home and easy to get to when the walls close in at 5:30. I'm a professional and that makes me the smartest tack in the box down there and I like that. Whatever. Anyway, my question is about another regular, who for the first nine months wouldn't sit within 3 stools of me. I should mention that having come from SF and not knowing any other way to be, I outed myself right at the get go. They were slow to take to me but they did, in the end, get out of their own way. has as well, although it took her a time. She's the busy-body at the pub, knows everything about everybody (except me of course). She's boisterous and opinionated and a bigoted but basiy decent to her family and her friends. I've been invited to go fishing on another regular's (-'s) boat. and are time friends and now has invited herself along on the trip. I don't care, it's -'s boat, I get along with just about everyone, and I'm there to fish anyway. I know I'll say something to about her taking so to come around. I want to give her an opportunity to say what was in her way so that it's out of the way between us. It think I'm going to come right out and tell her about the 3-stool observation and ask her what that was all about. Thoughts? searching for nice fun lovers to hang out with
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