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Look, here's the problem: The OP has not defined the abusiveness. Is it emotional? Physical? WE don't KNOW. The OP did not appear to be panicking over her situation, but rather, reflecting on what the next steps need to be done in order to extricate herself. Everyone on here went ape-shit when she used one of the trigger words, "-", but the fact is that can take forms, of which do not place the OP in imminent danger of loss of life or injury, and can allow some deliberate action and planning, instead of just knee-jerk reaction. I know this because I am on the managing board of a respected woman's shelter where I live, and I have handled the phone s from women who ARE in fear for their lives. Someone who writes in on is not in imminent fear. I've worked thru the maze of and social services available for the women who find themselves kicked, beaten, sexually assaulted, shot at, etc, had their held hostage for their "behavior" you name it, I can probably top it. Do YOU get the 1 AM phone from a woman whose husband has locked her out of the house because he's decided she needs to be put in her place? Shelters are fine and serve a purpose, but they are a bandaid on the situation. have time limits that limit how one can stay and then what? And that's IF you can find a shelter that has space. That is our biggest challenge. I've got a list as as my arm of shelters and safehouses, and finding one with space usually require a minimum of to phone s. To tell a woman who not be in imminent peril to drop her life and go to a shelter is knee-jerk and reactionary. And if you actually READ my post instead of jumping all over it, you'll that I suggested that she contact legal aid if she can't afford an attorney. We don't KNOW what her financial situation is, ok? You are assuming that she is penniless and destitute. For all we know, she might have a better job than her husband. WE don't KNOW, ok? don't assume. You'd be surprised at the number of s we get from women whom you'd never suspect of being victims of domestic. They have nice homes, their are nice who aren't in trouble, they have jobs but there's something in their relationship that is broken. who wants to get eaten out tonightIf the posts that he was thinking of looking elsewhere because his wife seems totally uninterested in sex during menopause, we would have told him to consider the health factors etc, and read him the riot act for thinking it was license to run around. If the posts saying he's having trouble keeping an erection, I'd say exactly the same as to her: are his hands and mouth broken? Has he looked into Viagra? Or is he too lazy to keep her happy now and then? We don't know how OP's been cold. My offhand guess is, it takes a time, not a two-week dry spell, to get exasperated enough to say something that sharp. I could be wrong. But this is a serious wake-up. OP's lucky he's saying it to her face and giving her a to fix it, instead of cheating first and asking questions later. We can only advise the person who posts, because that is the only person he/she has control over. OP can't assume that menopause is a license to it up and marriage is going to keep the other person trapped forever. If you want your mate to remain contented and also monogamous, there's nothing misogynistic about saying you have some obligation to keep said spouse happy, even when you're having trouble getting moist or keeping it up. (And just for the record, both unselfemployed and I are female and past 50.) asian online dating
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