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Thanks for all those who have been keeping up with my posts. I've been with my BF for 4 years. We've had some rough patches. We've stayed together and I do him, despite his faults. His happiness has always been important to me, and I care about him very much. I'm really in the thick of trying to figure out if it's worth continuing. The commute issue recently brought some more issues to the fore, and now I have a lot of material to work with in determining whether to stay or go. Ideally, I'd like to stay with him. I need some SMALL changes in our relationship. I need more affection, first of all. I need a daily hug or kiss initiated by him. I need occasional dates to let me know the fun/passion/specialness of our bond is worth celebrating to him, and that a once-a-month occasion to get dressed up and have a good meal is worth it. I need his time, not to be left alone for large parts of the weekend while he works on his hobbies. I need to be told "I you," even twice a year would be good. I need to know (less easy to measure) that he be there for me when I need him. Should I tear my meniscus again or have an accident or get sick, that I can count on him to be tender and helpful and kind. I don't think these are big things to ask for. Before I throw in the towel, can I talk to him about these things? How can I let him know that it's REALLY important now (we've had the affection/intimacy talk before with no change in his efforts/behavior)? I read someone -'s post earlier here today where the female OP was saying how she felt she was "wrong" for wanting certain things. I've been down that road, wondering if I wasn't sexy/-/desireable/good enough, or if there wasn't something fundamentally wrong with me for how he was behaving towards me (I do believe he loves me, he just SUCKS at showing it and over time it wears me down). Now that I've healed that part and realized there's nothign wrong with me to prevent him from loving me in these ways, and that I deserve those ways of being loved, I'm facing ending it, if he can't how I NEED these things like plants need. So how can I talk to him about this? I would ideally like to save the relationship. All along I thought it/we would grow woman seeks friendship yes with mature sluts sI wish things were so defined and all or nothing None of this is "yes/no" "true/false" if it were only that easy . I go to the gym to work out i go to the gym to relax (hot tub, steam room, sauna) I go to the gym to check out the sexy women in their spandex workout clothes, or bathing suits I go to the gym to check out the hot guys in the shower rooms I have seen creepers plenty of them that i am not this one fat old dude used to sit in the shower room on the handicap bench and just sit there staring at everyone showering. didnt try to hide it at all.. just sat there looking you up and down.. very creepy. I try my hardest not to make anyone feel uneasy. i highly doubt anyone i have looked at even knows i looked at them. And there is nothing wrong with looking. you go to the pool or beach and look at all the bathers. as as you dont stare and drewl at them and creep them out, no one cares. also, "-" is not so on/off as you make it sound . I think i made it clear that i have already experimented with a guy years ago so there is no "curious" or "straight but looking" about it i have tried it, and i liked it. so if one encounter makes you "-" then i guess i am. But last i checked, gays dont like women and i women would take an average chick over a cute boy any day. So dont think i quite fit "-" I refer to myself as "non-practicing Bi" or "born again straight" or "straight by circumstance" :) But i am not a "creeper", i am not a "stalker", and i am not "-" married seeking
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