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but i am "not a victim" talking gets me no where. though, when he messaged me earlier today he did say that he wants to take me on a trip to an and i am almost thinking about getting my hopes up. we have gone on lots of trip though, and they always end with me getting quiet and staring out the window because something he said was just crazy, and then he gets mad because i get quiet.. i dont know how to handle it. im not allowed to feel hurt or get upset and any time i do i am "not being supportive" when he needs me the most which is any time we have an issue. before he left this morning for his trip i told him that his temper was getting in the way and that i cant not be affected by his screaming or temper tantrums. my body physiy aches some times when he is around. he does work a lot but he wanted to do this to save money. 2 months later, guess how much money he has in the bank? $ + a week for 8 weeks = over 8 thousand. our rent is $ a month all utilities included. he is getting burned out for nothing. he doesn't have time to talk or the for me. which is why i turned here. i really dont know if i want to give up yet, but i dont know how to get him to how much his anger hurts me.. and how much his fibs make me want to confront him in front of people.. i feel like a phony already and i have to watch what i say around his parents because i dont know if his story aligns with the truth.. older women are my kyptoniteIm 25yo, Ive been hot for guys since I can remember, even when I was 9 id watch the morning excersize programs and get turned on. I was promiscuous in my teens and I never desired a relationship with a guy, until I fell in with someone when I was 19. It ended badly and it was very painful and I got no closure, and since Ive lost my overactive sex drive and while I find guys cute I dont them sexually like I did before. What happened to me? I feel like Im turning straight. Is that possible?! Maybe Im still holding on to the pain and its blocking me from enjoying men again. Anyone have a similar experience? looking for some fun
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