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Im a 45 yr old veteran living in st. ive recently decided that men are it for me in my life. but I do have one drawback I have genital I know there are condoms and mostly I want to be the pleaser, the receiver .I be honest in my encounters and lastly I would be considered a big bear .injury in the service put me out for quite some time and I gained weight in the mean time, though im in the middle of losing some now .i have had some experience already jus be nice to meet someone for more meaningful times together ..why am I posting? I have no idea but thanks for reading .if u have any comments feel free to post them .. seeking an attractive african american femalealways have had a problem with being assertive. During dating he found out he could push me and I wouldn't push back. I basiy married my dad. I was afraid of this, and I still am to an extent, for most of our ten year marriage. I was raised with little conflict and my DH was raised being able to argue with his parents. I didn't learn that is was safe to express my opinion, be angry or argue. My husband is kind of scary. He an introverted engineer and can argue circles around me and people. He's so sensitive and touchy that people learn quickly to walk on eggshells around him. I have become MUCH more assertive in the past year and surprisingly, he's backed off quite a bit. He still has the ability to manipulate me and tonight I apologized if I upset him and cringed that I did that. It was on the phone and I felt that old urge to get the connection back. How can this be fixed? I guess, like with the arguing, I have to stop the bulldozing in its tracks, simply refuse it. He seems to thrive in conflict, he even bring up extremely sensitive subjects right in the middle of sex! I simply refuse to even discuss it now or say we can stop and go talk about it outside of bed. So, I guess I am doing much of what I need to be doing, most of the time. It's hard for me because my nature is to be cooperative. I like and getting along. In order to be my own person in this marriage, I have to be willing to fight for my rights, defend myself, stand up to him and win the power struggles by refusing to bend to his. It's stressful. I imagine it's a lot like having a with oppositional defiance disorder. I am guessing that my husband bring the topic up when he's back home. On some level he knows about his issues but he defensively blames everything on others. So this be about me taking an opportunistic jab, not that he actually might have something he should take a look at. My plan is to simply say I realize that have not been the appropriate time to bring that up and not cave. cybersex online
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