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1) Being alive. 2) Having good health. 3) Having a roof over my head. 4) I was able to chat to 3 of my American friends over Xmas. 5) Having the good fortune to have a wonderful day out today even though I was tired and cold.. My Xmas at work was a mix of good and bad. I was the only person staying in the nurses' home which should have meant quiet nights but there was hot water overflowing from the floor above the first night which meant the plumbing was banging half the night plus the place was roasting hot. It was sorted out and the last 2 nights were a bit better. But I was so tired on Xmas Day itself,felt very down. In my spare time time during the days I was able to go out and take lots of nearby. And there was so much food available in the staffroom it was ridiculous. As usual,lots got thrown away untouched something wrong there :-( is there any good women left tired of wasting my timeI actually know quiet a bit about buddhism, in the scholarly sense. I have studied it extensively in college and grad school. It is amazing how you can study something and understand it intellectually but not "get" it. I "got" it for the first time when my grandmother died. I had an amazing vision of a girl being born and somehow "knowing" that the soul of my grandmother was being reborn. Maybe it was searching for some sort of solace and comfort, maybe it was wishful thinking, but it came to me without conscious thought my unconscious taking everythign I studied and all the crap with Catholic bull that I had been struggling against and it just worked for me. One of the very few unconscious religious moments or awakenings I have ever had. But I struggle with societal acceptance in my suburban New England town. I have a spouse whom I dearly, but doesn't understand or want our (being raised by lesbians) to be buddhist and be even weirder. There are no temples, no communities of Buddhists near me that have any vibrance. Finding a buddhist community, never mind a particular sect, would be difficult. UU appeals to me. It has the meditative qualities that I am looking for. It allows for the individuals own path to the divine. I am strugglng with accepting human flaws right now I recently moved. I had been attending a UU church and was very moved each service by the reverand. FOr some reason, the UU church closest to my new house is lackluster. Small congregation and for the past two weeks, lay leaders have been running it and it has failed to move me too much ego dripping out of them. So, still I search. just looking for sex
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