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I would like to hear from either a person who has a term bf/spouse who loves to flirt or from a person whose been in a term relationship and they knows they’re a big ‘ol flirt but your partner loves you to death anyway. I have a boyfriend of 3 years (we’ve known each other for more) and he’s always enjoyed the attention when it comes his way, but lately I’ve noticed that for whatever reason, he’s become so comfortable or used to getting it that he now: A. Comments about other random or celebrity women he finds attractive in front of me in ways that none of our other male friends do. “She’s got PERFECT breasts.” Or who’s that? “Every guys wet dream.” B. There have been 3-4 instances in the past 3 years where a female friend or coworker of his has crossed the line and he didn’t speak up to reinforce appropriate boundaries (I’m not asking for a scene, a polite quiet comment or funny joke that gets the main message across would do just fine) I believe he is either in a clinging-to-my-bachelorhood phase since our relationship is on the cusp of being the Real Deal or this is a part of his personality that he have been trying to hibernate (though not very well) and now it’s coming to the painful light of day. If it’s a phase, I am trying to get us through it. If it is a part of his personality, I want to know how you ladies handle this kind of behavior? Or how you gentleman help your ladies understand that this is just a way you communicate and if there can be any reassurance that this behavior is not indicative to how secure/insecure you are in your current committed relationship? I have never been a jealous girlfriend. I totally admit that flirting has become a very common way for people to chit chat and have a nice time harmlessly. But I don’t do it in front of my partners out of respect. Because I don’t really care for it when it happens to me blatantly. However I’d like to try to do what I can and meet him halfway with this if he means it when he says he is very committed to me. PS – This guy is kinda behind me in the years of maturity. We’re the same age, but I have much more life experience in general. herpies type 1 in sexual areI truly do him and sex isn't the problem, it is like he can't make time for me to kiss, hug, cuddle and go places- even just walk together I am thankful for him being a hardwoker and not going out with the boys, but I work too,and the 4 I am raising are his and them dearly But matter of fact I am social, to talk, laugh, go to concerts, I dont drink I have tried respecting him, not going out much less accept advances from other men, but is difficult to feel alone in a relationship. When we started, i told him we always needed to try to turn each other's head I would explain people have affairs becuase1, the other person isn't willing to do what theyt want inbed, but even find common interests, talk and dress up for them. I fufilled my end, I truly was the best lover, friend, wife I could be. But he didn't fufill his part Now he says he doesn't understand why I would want otu because of something so simple like wanting to go out on dates and because he doesn't give little gifts My question for him was, if those things were simple, then why doesn'i he do them if for no other reson than to make me content and quiet? He has no answer but I do he does not the importance in it for him. So I am left to wonder, is this marriage I have for 16-20 more years until we can't stand each other so much that we do treat each other so bitterly or cheat? I do not want either thing to happen I feel like if we end it now- maybe there is a we can be friendly done the road and give each other a to be happy. I am a very indendent person and feel even though us ending hurt so bad, maybe it is for the best but part me prays he want to be more invested in us before there is no us. I however, look for the book you suggested and read it and hopefully I can find more insight into help to slavage the relationship I am 37 and I know that starting again with someone lese at my age is probably impossible but sometimes it is better to BE alone than FEEL alone. Thank you for you r insight , just being able to talk about it with a stranger helps take off some of the stress.:) alternative dating
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