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and any interaction with her is extremely unpleasant, full of drama and screaming (usually). Bear in mind I do not believe avoiding unpleasant situations is acceptable, and I've chastised him for this. But I do understand it. He's acknowledged he needs to do it and admits he feels overwhelmed. I'm not proud of any of these explanations but they were honest. I told him I'd help him any way I could but ultimately this was his battle to engage in. have sex Lawton OklahomaFirst time posting, so please bear with me :) Was married for 18 years, officially separated since Feb. X wife has not worked until recently My mistake (and I know this was stupid on my part) was not separating financial stuff until about a year later Since Feb. date of separation: I've paid % of joint debt (approx $40k) I've paid % of all household expenses (approx $85K) including mortgage, taxes, insurance, utilities, groceries, car payments, etc. even though I was not living there. I was trying to keep her and my two high school age in the house until they graduated. I was under no separation decree to do this. I did it because I thought it was the right thing to do. Since separation, my X wife has also raided the the account, buying palm readings, on-line spell casting, sex toys, thousands in clothing, giving money to one of her boyfriends, etc. I have records of all of this. We'll be going to our mandetory settlement conference. Here's what I'm hoping to find out: For the joint debt, would a judge me 50% of what I've paid? If she has no cash, how would I receive that back? reduced spousal support? Any thoughts? Any experiences out there? For excessive spending on her part for the above stuff, what would a judge decide? I want to go into the settlement conference knowing what I can expect if she stone-walls me and we have to go to court. I've attempted to negotiate with her on several occasions, but she's poo-poo'd everything I've presented. I also agreed to pay for % of legal fees if she'd go to a mediator, which we did, and when we finished and she saw what the settlement was, she didn't like the amount, and told me to pound sand. Another $3K down the toilet .. I know this rambles a bit, but any advice out of experience would be GREATLY appreciated!!! Thanks! lonely wives
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