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There are a lot of mental, emotional, territorial, financial, social, adjustments to be made. It can back up on a person because that's a lot to handle. I think there are also a lot of strong intentions and notions that people put on their marriage, consciously or otherwise. People also their husband/wife in a serious light. It's easy for everything to be all laughs when you're just dating and who the hell cares if you break up. The fights you are having are normal growing pains type of stuff. Your descriptions of the fights and conversations sound like at least one of you isn't really listening and is instead already off and running with logic/scenario a,b, or c and thinking of the next thing that person wants to say. Instead of just listening. Try just dealing with the cold hard facts of the situation instead of assuming ANYTHING. don't leap to any conclusions. Just let things be and give each other the benefit of the doubt that neither of you are doing anything hurtful to the other one (because that is most likely the case.) Try saying less out loud and giving neutral responses. You need to dial down the atmosphere at your house. You also need to take the divorce word off the table. The problems you are describing with your husband are not divorce material. So it's entirely unfair to bring up divorce, and it's really mean. Cheaters, abusers, addicts, and people who totally quit on their spouse, are people that are divorce material. You and your husband just have some communication issues with confusing misunderstandings thrown. So cut down the bullshit, stop the expectations and assumptions leading to butthurtedness and just let situations be what they are.. Keep in mind that 90% of the shit you worry about NEVER happens.. Remember to also lead with your heart, you're supposed to each other, not think nasty things about each other. Lead by example on that front. asian Mount Beauty looking for top
I understand how a dysfunctional childhood and/or a lousy marriage can scar you, and make you second-guess yourself. But there is no reason why you should settle for whatever scraps fall from his table. By his words and his actions, he is telling you very plainly that you are a low priority in his life. "You get what you settle for." You've settled for too now. Time to walk. horny grandmas KorsheYou give permission for what you allow. You have allowed him to be lazy about this relationship, and frankly, you sound more like his mother than his girlfriend. He knows you're not going anywhere, because you are soooooo in luuuuvvvvv. So far, you've treated him the way you want to be treated. So think of it this way: He has shown you the way HE wants to be treated. So give him what he wants. Stop with the 5 AM breakfast shit. Leave a box of Cheerios on the table if you're feeling generous. He starts to do his own laundry. Stop and grab your own dinner before you get home, and walk in already fed he's on his own for dinner. YOU ARE REWARDING HIM FOR TREATING YOUR POORLY. After all that, you STILL leave him and a sweet note?!? Talk about mixed messages!!!!!!! Stop pleading. Stop crying. Stop begging. Find some dignity and grow a spine. "Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be." And stop rewarding poor behavior! He does not FEEL what you are feeling. So make it easier for him to feel it. (This is a reason why I'm not a big fan of living together before marriage. Right now you have all the responsibilities of marriage, and absolutely none of the perks. How is this a win-win for you?) The other option is to simply walk, but you aren't going to do that. So your basic problem is this: You aren't going to change him unless he decides it's in his best interests to change. So either you put up and shut up, or you make it clear what the expectations are and follow through with consequences if they don't materialize. You're about 2 years and 51 weeks too late, but some CAN be taught. You are too to be this -'s maid and dog. looking for romance
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