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we need holiday cheer It is all I can do to not be a wreck. Does anyone feel like this? I have loved this women for nigh on 17 years now. We spend every moment we can together. She is my best friend. Fun dates, walks, coffee, a great life. She has been travelling a lot in the last year, and I seriously am starting to lose my shit. Anxiety, no focus, longing, pain. I can't tell her this because I don't want her to worry or ruin her experience so I am spilling my guts here. Why is it so hard for me? I don't want it to be this way. Part of it I know is jealousy. She gets to go away and have a vacation. I am stuck back here with all the same responsibilities; every day stress, no escape, but what is worst of all, nobody to talk to like I talk to her. I can't imagine if she ever left this earth with out me. At least now I have the expectation of her returning. It hurts, I haven't allowed myself to cry, but writing this down is making it awfully in here. I feel so inadequate without her. SO damn lonely. I have cleaned the house, done all the yard work, folded laundry, gone to work, grocery shopping all in a day and a half. The only thing that helps is staying busy, but I am getting so damn bored doing these things with out her. Does anyone have any miracle advice to help ease the pain in my heart? Why am I so pathetic? i want to watch you get fucked by a dog
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