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But I'm kind of confused I'm not sure if I'm attracted to girls per se, but I feel more like I'm attracted to THIS one as an individual. I don't know. But anyway, I kept the emotions tucked away because the nature of our casual 'friendship' was never supposed to have emotions involved. But here's another thing that's messing with my head. She is engaged. And her fiancee doesn't know about the whole thing actually before all this, she told him that she wanted to try hooking up with a girl in general, and he shot it down saying that it would be cheating (which is understandable), and they never re-visited the issue. I feel guilty of being involved with someone who's attached because I'm usually a ethical person. So, I know that I need to remove myself from this whole situation, but I'm finding it difficult. I actually care about her now, and I know that if I get in too deep, it's just going to mess with me even more because she doesn't wanna get emotionally involved (neither did I but I can't help the way I feel now). Sometimes she tells me things like fights she's been having with her fiancee (has nothing to do with me or her bi-curiosity), and she'll tell me that she ended up crying, and it really breaks my heart to know that she felt sad. I find myself thinking about her all the time, even though I know I should get a hold of myself and back away from this situation. Sigh horny west Petaluma girls
On Oct 24 I have to go to court for support and alimony, since Sept of me ex-wife Salinas has not allowed me to or speak to our and even when I would send cards and it had turned out that finely she came out with the fact the she has never told them about me at all, she went further on to say she was going to do everything possible to have my rights terminated and that her Fiance wanted to adopt both and as his own but she has never gone through the proceedings of that, she doesn't want me to speak to her family so I can get a straight answer of what's going on and her family as secret as they all are not speak of anything, they all want me to burn and since the all have their dirty little secrets like selling while being in High School to having an abortion that their parents do not know to the parents living under the same roof but not the same bed to being hoarders in the house and they are true blue Catholics and Democrats I am to be made an example for some reason and should make then all feel better for some reason or another. on Oct 19 and need to go back to Indiana for a weeks visit and I be in court on the 24th @ 8 am I most likely be put in jail at The Twin Towers where a has died under the watch of Beck or beat to a pulp as so have whilst he turns a blind eye and go unscathed, I do not even know where she lives, the last place was in El, then maybe in Pasadena, or maybe now in Asuza, my my depression is getting so bad I know not what to do at all, I sit here in this little room with my daughter and when I get sick and my Asthma gets so bad helps me going to get my med's from the refrigerator for my nebulizer because I can barely walk to feet to all my anti depressants and in jail I know I not receive that level of care, so when I go to court and get put in jail should I choose to opt out or let the guards or prisoners do me in, I know not what to do at all married middle 27609 guy looking for older ladiesI really, really hate to say this but it always be a 'live today as it is' kind of thing. It's awesome that the person went to rehab. It's great that s/he wants something different and you all want better for her, too. Support him/her as you can through this. Send notes of support. Enjoy your life and all the little things. BUT this not be a 3 to 6 month wait for a "result". This be a lifetime of work and successes and failures and potential heartbreak. My brother has been to rehab at least 20 times (that I know of) and he currently uses. He has had clean time sometimes 2 years at a stretch but he doesn't even try anymore. We have no relationship. He doesn't have my # because he only ed for money in the middle of the night or to be bailed out of jail. We are civil, even friendly, when there are family gatherings and I him but I can't support his choices and I can't, as sad as this sounds, get my hopes up again. What is even sadder is how he must feel about failing all of these times. All that said (probably too much) that doesn't mean that is your family's fate. I worked in a rehab and I saw a lot of successes. In my current job I both those who stay clean and those who cannot. There is never a clue that one do it and one not. But most important this is key even the successes had relapses along the way. Rehabs often tell them that "relapse is part of the process" and it is. It's like they often want to test to if they can use in moderation. Test to if all those things they learned in rehab are true. Some never make it out of the relapse. go to rehab several times before it "takes." Some don't relapse for years and almost need a refresher rehab after so because they forgot to remain vigilant of themselves and take care of themselves. This be a lifetime of caring for him/herself. Like diabetes, she'll have daily maintenance to do. The hard part for you is to keep your but also be realistic and don't crash and burn if s/he relapses. It happens a lot before term sobriety "sticks". I highly recommend Alanon. You learn a lot and meet others who are where you are. They also have alateen for teens affected by other's addiction. e alanon and find a meeting near you and recommend it to your family and friends. Peace to you and yours. horny singles
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