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Plus I have a neg. But to clarify Cattail and I have exchanged hundreds of posts on her situation over the course of several years. I have my own saga of injury and recovery and am extremely aware of the effect of. I think cattail knows I very much wish her the best and was addressing an aspect of her story others can't know from a single post. I want to be careful not to tell someone -'s story and I'm of course aware I can be wrong. But I think it's safe to say his is a family with a fragile daughter that's been locked into a dysfunctional dynamic forever. Cattail knows I'm strongly of the opinion that her mother is as guilty, if not more so, of driving that dynamic. Whatever the father's, his offer to visit alone was in my view an effort to break the pattern. Cattail not be ready and that's OKAY. But IMO it would be be beneficial and an important step away from polarized dad-bad/mom-good thinking to RECOGNIZE he's at least trying. And yes, I Cat doing that I was just encouraging it (in my own way). Yelling at a kid is, but subtle manipulation with a smiley face CAN be every bit as soul-sucking and extremely damaging to individuation, yet harder to recognize. And obviously dad is clumsy: the idea of sleeping on her couch for a whole week is ridiculous. That would be too much togetherness even in vastly better circumstances. Nevertheless, it saddened me to mom back in the picture because IMO it'd be a huge step forward for Cat and dad to handle this either way, even with open conflict without mom intruding and manipulating via guilt and the appearance of good-guy gentlesness (masking one hell of a self-serving agenda). I'm not writing this properly don't have time. So let me just say, I wasn't defending dad or minimizing. And cattail, I not have made it clear in other posts, but I totally support a decision to reject his visit. I bring up the fact he's trying to challenge the polarized view of your parents. I saw some of that perhaps erroneously in your comment about his bragging being a sign narcissism. Does your mother not brag about you, as well? Sorry, this is so garbled. It's a half-assed attempt to explain my comment despite not having time to write. wanna satisfy a Charlotte woman tonightMaybe it's a "control freakout", but I just can't help but possibly this as hesitation on his part. He has been vague, indecisive, on the fence since day one. At 5mo of dating I asked him where we stand (bf/gf?) he responded: "I definitely feel like I'm in a relationship w/ you, I that, but there are still some things I'm unsure about". I said "okay" dropped it. Two days later, on his he lists himself as "In a Relationship". I had to actually ask him he said "Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that- w/ you!" I was happy, but *sigh*. Then the ? was "Is he moving in or moving away?" 'Cause after I brought up that he should “think about” (figured I'd give him time to mull it over) moving in, he started talking about moving out of state! Tired of it, after really going over it in my head, I told him I couldn't do it anymore. I him, I wish him luck, but I need to move forward w/ my life. I was okay w/ that decision, though I was very hurt. After a year of "I don't knows" "I you, but"'s, I was fed up. He didn’t have to move in, but to suddenly start saying “I move to FL” after leading me to believe he had changed his mind (as aforementioned, he mentioned it early in the relationship, but then seemed to begin to make plans here instead). Hours later it was "I you, I think we can have a great life together", "I'm sorry I don't talk more", etc I thought "he's afraid of losing me or being the one left behind", but I talked it out with him- gave it a shot. Two days later: "I think my dresser would fit nicely here ". Within a week, boxes moving in. Now this. On the same note, he's talking about our next house /but he doesn't know if he can ever actually me. (Not that I’m ready, but eh!?) At one point, he said he didn't think he could ever move in w/ me. (He hates that I'm divorced, but has developed a great relationship w/ my.) So, if I'm feeling frantic, it's cause I feel I deserve him to shoot straight. I hate the knot in my stomach. I appreciate that he loves me has tried ( succeeded) one step at a time to get over his apprehensions w/ me (he was terrified of the at first, still dislikes the idea of my ex bein’ in my life, etc…), but geez! single and wants
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