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So today I didn't take my dog to the dog park like I promised, so we went for a run this evening instead. I come home to my apartment, and notice none of the lights are on. I always leave the light over the stove on. Always. But I check around and nothing is amiss and my dog is acting quite normally, so I go ahead and put him in his crate with some food, and hop in the shower. The water is perfectly warm, my shampoo rinsing from my hair smells amazing, like orange creamsicles. My shower curtain is yanked forcefully open, and a scream escapes my mouth before I even what I should be afraid of. So somebody in one of those really glittery mardi gras masks and all black clothing literally LIFTS me out of the tub and tosses me to the floor of my bedroom. I live alone, and was screaming like a motherfucker. It's only when I my dog's crate at the foot of my bed, as my face is pushed to the floor, is empty, that I start to really really panic. My arms were yanked behind my back, despite my struggling I landed a few solid kicks and something cold and hard was placed around each of them handcuffs, I reasoned at the clink of metal snapping into place. All I can is my dog's empty crate and I feel smooth latex in the shape of a gloved hand run down my sides, snake around my front to pinch my nipples mercilessly, which I hate, before pulling away. A gruff voice mumbles, "You're still soapy." My body is being supported by only my face and knees, and I'm cold and I AM still soapy, I can feel it as his hands course familiarly over my skin. And then I feel my knees being kicked apart "Why?!" I cry, fearing everything from AIDs to babies to murder. My only answer is the sound of a zipper. And then this little tearing sound, kind of like paper. And then something with a jagged edge, small and square and metalish, is placed on the small of my back. I hold my breath, tears streaming down my face, snot mingling with it, and none of it flowing in the right direction since my face is somewhat upside down. need a place to crash
There are factors to consider: 1. How rentable units exist in the building? If it has 6 or more units then it must be registered as a rentable apartment with HPD and it is regulated under Rent Regulation Guidelines. Which means that heat and hot-water ARE included in the rent. I friggen HATE NY Realtors who, when asked about utilities answer, "Oh, heat and hot water are included " No sh*t, Sherlock, it's an 18-unit apartment building! If the building has less than 6 units, well, in that case the Owner can choose to your gas and electric utilities or not Hey, some Owners have cable already installed for ya not too, though 2. Is it a new apartment (say from a gut-rennovation)? Because if it has been rented before, then the Owner (and/or Real Estate Rep) ought to have SOME idea of how much the utilities are If this is the first time your (new) unit is being rented (and there are NOT a lot of 3-level units in NYC), then yous-guys are gonna be the utility "guinea pigs" so to speak. 3. How frugal (and/or eco-conscious and/or romantic) are you and your roommates? Do yous turn lights off when not in the room? Enjoy frequent candle-lit dinners? LOL 4. What are your schedules like? All day-jobbers probably means "lights out" at night but combo day- night-jobbers means lights probably be needed at all times 5a. How are the windows? If new, then they probably keep the heat in during and the cool air-conditioned air in during. But if the windows suck, (say old, industrial loft-style windows) then your electric be high because of the use of heaters and having to turn the AC up to maximum. 5b. How handy are you with weather-stripping? Cuz if you weather strip well-enough you might over-come some of those suckie-window issues, that is, if you have such issues 6. Welcome to the wonderful world of renting in NYC. I'm not sure average New Yorker is quite THAT efficient as to know specifiy what they pay to heat/cool/light/cook in their apartment per square foot. Truth is Welcome to New York! need an Fredericksburg skinned massageTalk about keeping a tradition going! and his brother-in-law have been exchanging the same pair of pants as a Christmas present for 11 years and each time the package gets harder to open. This year the pants came wrapped in a car mashed into a 3-foot cube. The trousers are in the glove compartment of a Gremlin. Now -'s plotting his revenge if he can get them out. It all started when received a pair of moleskin trousers from his brother-in-law, Kunkel of Bensenville, Ill. Kunkel's mother had given her the britches when he was a college student. He wore them a few times, but they froze stiff in cold weather and he didn't like them. So he gave them to., who ed the moleskins "miserable," wore them times, then wrapped them up and gave them back to Kunkel for Christmas the next year. The friendly exchange continued routinely until twisted the pants tightly, stuffed them into a 3-foot , 1-inch wide tube and gave them back to Kunkel. The next Christmas, Kunkel compressed the pants into a 7-inch square, wrapped them with wire and gave the "bale" to. Not to be outdone, the next year put the pants into a 2-foot-square crate filled with stones, nailed it shut, banded it with steel and gave the trusty trousers back to Kunkel. The brothers agreed to end the caper if the trousers were damaged. But they were as careful as they were clever. Kunkel had the pants mounted inside an insulated window that had a 20-year guarantee and shipped them off to. broke the glass, recovered the trousers, stuffed them into a 5-inch coffee can and soldered it shut. The can was put in a 5-gallon container filled with concrete and reinforcing rods and given to Kunkel the following Christmas. Two years ago, Kunkel installed the pants in a -pound homemade steel ashtray made from 8-inch steel casings and etched -'s name on the side. had trouble retrieving the treasured trousers, but succeeded without burning them with a cutting torch. (- part 2) hot bbw
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