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Stunning Comeback for Former Iraqi Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf, who became famous around the world for his pronouncements when he served as Information Minister to Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein, staged a stunning political comeback today by being named the chief spokesman for the Pentagon in Washington. Mr. al-Sahaf, who made headlines as “Baghdad Bob” years ago by repeatedly proclaiming that the Iraqi army was demolishing invading. forces, appeared at a press briefing at the Pentagon this afternoon with a beaming Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld, who ed the former Iraqi Information Minister “the right for the right job at the right time.” Explaining his decision to tap Mr. al-Sahaf as chief Pentagon spokesman, Secretary Rumsfeld said, “I realized that our spokesmen have been trying to do the same thing that Muhammed did years ago, only they aren’t as credible as he was.” Stepping up to the microphone, an ebullient Mr. al-Sahaf said that conditions on the ground in “have never been better” and that the insurgency was “all but vanquished.” “Democracy is flowering in so fast you wouldn’t believe it!” Mr. al-Sahaf added. “People think the new constitution is awesome!” When asked by a reporter about the burned-out cars that litter the streets of Baghdad and other cities, Mr. al-Sahaf was unfazed, explaining, “Their engines overheated.” The former Iraqi Information Minister was also upbeat about the trial of Saddam Hussein, telling reporters, “It’s moving even faster than Milosevic’s!” Elsewhere, President Bush acknowledged that prewar intelligence about had been false, and said that the. would discontinue its practice of ordering military intelligence from Costco. From Borowitz any ladies wanna make a new friendConstitutional amendments, intolerance by our new Secretary of Education,and ex billboards in our area getting you down? Conflicting and sometimes discriminatory messages about lesbians, bisexual women and transgender people have been making headlines. A new version of the previously defeated constitutional amendment banning marriage has been reintroduced, opening up the possibility that same-sex marriages, and those where one or both partners is transgender, could be eliminated. Our new Secretary of Education, Spellings, denounced PBS for creating a -'s program that included two lesbian couples in its story (which focused on farm life and sugaring in Vermont). And in the Rockville area, PFOX (Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays) has posted a billboard asserting that "change is possible." Having our very identities debated by lawmakers, columnists and religious leaders can be draining. This is a great time to use LSP to decompress. Our Tuesday Night Group is a great opportunity to drop in and chat about whatever is on your mind. It meets, you guessed it, Tuesday nights at 7pm here at 14th St, NW. The Tuesday Night Group ::: 7:00 pm :::: 14th St. NW New to the area? Want to meet new people? Need some support facing the newyear? Want to spend some time in a safe comfortable space? The Tuesday Night Group is a meeting place to discuss and connect with diverse members of your community. We're here every week. No registration required. Please contact at ashaw@ or ( ) *** for more information. horny granny
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