Rambling A over a year ago, I passed up the chance of having the one person I always wanted, because I wanted my freedom. I wanted just myself again, afer years of trying to love someone else, who was determined to erase my existence I guess we could say. I said mean, heartless things that I regret.I was drowning in mid air trying to the reality of everything happening around me, that I hurt the one person I never wanted to hurt. I think back to those conversations a lot of times I just want to cry, how could I let someone break me down so badly, that all I could say to the one person I actually loved was harsh, shattering words? How in the world did I let things get so out of control, that I couldnt even control myself? Then the hundreds of memories of the love I so wanted flashes through, its just.. a hurricane of mixed emotions.. Then I block everything out, its too overwhelming for me to deal with. Tears are not something I wish to shed. I couldnt apologize even though I want to, nothing I could say or do, could erase what I said and did. Time doesnt rewind, there are no do overs. All that because at the time, I wanted myself and my freedom. Well I got my freedom and myself. Turns out I've too much freedom these days. Most nights I lay awake with a thousand memories, words, or just random thoughts rambling through my mind, to fall asleep and dream of the love I once upon a time knew. I guess the upside is I dont dream every night, well not that i always re, but these days its that I sleep. Its crazy to me, that I gave up the chance because I wasnt exactly sure if what I believed I wanted was what I wanted or thoughts of someone else. Makes no sense im sure. But now that I've had this year to myself, the freedom of doing whatever I please, no one hounding me, or trying to change who I am, Ive realized a lot of things. Like that I always changed what I said I wanted in a guy over the years.. example "I don't like little guys I like bigger guys". Only I wasnt cl Array fucking married woman MonterreyDo You Believe In Second Chances? I just want to say I am sorry. Something that could have turned out better didn't and it's my own fault. I should have known better that you were not going to be interested in me when we finally did meet. I tried to tell you that ahead of time. I truly understand and have no hard feelings. I suppose I jumped the gun on you and that wasn't fair. If you should read this (I really don't think so), I just want to let you know I'm sorry and miss you. swingers West Danville Vermont big and b beautiful girl
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1) UFOs do they exist? Have you ever seen anything in the sky that can't be explained? I don't think so, but surely I could be wrong. No. 2) Any memorable museum or gallery exhibitions you've been to? My god, my first trip to Abq (when I fell in with it) included a trip to Roswell, NM. That was the strangest place I swear. Driving down the main street, we were just amazed by all the alien/UFO commercial aspect. Very strange. 3) Do you believe in an afterlife? I guess so. 4) If you have to travel somewhere you haven't been to before are you good at finding your way there,whether driving,cycling,walking or using public transport, or do you lose your way easily? Usually I'm good at getting around in a new place, I've traveled enough to get good practice. I was never abducted in Roswell!! :) Lost Springs live sex camLady want casual sex Newmarket women searching for men
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