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It's that I've been spending so much less time w/*all* of my so-ed friends as well as my real friends, and *everything* is getting clearer. It has nothing to do with my financial status whatsoever. I have chosen to be a hermit now for about 6 mos. Turning my whole ship around for awhile. I simply can't tolerate any *bullshit* anymore. The only reason why I posted the money issue, is that the person I had the 'misunderstanding' with has always been thoroughly money-focused. We can be having tea, and she'll start in with her investments, her famous 'friend', etc. The other pair of 'friends' have their own schtick, but still, money-focused as well just Bohemian style, so it appears 'cool'. It STINKS OUT LOUD. And worst of all: it screwed their up seriously (both sets of friends' -). Hence: the money post. During my walk, I realized that it's really the same old story, but I just refuse to put up with it anymore at all. I'm growing up in the realest sense. It goes back to when I had my divorce years ago, and chose to be w/family folks only. The folks I befriended gave me the closest thing to the cozy feeling I craved but with a price: that I serve a purpose for them as well fill a hole a need play a role doing little favors like babysitting and trapseing around with them on *their terms*! I'm cutting all that out now, and facing facts. My values and principles are not the same and never were. Rather than suffer alone, I clung to them in large part, because it the hell out of me having single men interested in me. My 'friends' were a protection .At least I refrained from diving into a string of men-folk, marriages, etc. I'm proud of myself now. This all requires grieving, but hey, it feels good to cry and gain my freedom from their clutches .I played, 'In the early morning rain' (- -) several times on my guitar before,sobbed my guts out, and put a in for my brother. And this forum has been a great way to process stuff for me. To observe myself. Hell, everything goes out into oblivion, but it helps me. Other peoples posts help me also! And I'm undeterred by the morons, who unprovoked, post things that they think hurt others. light massage and moreok here goes i gave my husband back his wedding ring last night after wearing it for 15 years and 6 later why you ask i cant take it anymore although we both our i him as their father now we have had alot of ups and downs in our marriage and i have been with him since i was 14 i am now 29 he is 41 he had two when we meet we have 5 together and one of his live with us i have been his mom since he was 2 months old so he is mine! anyway he has physiy me in the past we stayed together with that but the last couple years we have grown apart although he tells me he loves me i dont it and last year there was an incident with a gun he put it in his mouth in front of our they put him on depression meds he seemed to be a bit better but i have never gotten past the gun incident he finally gave up after 20+ years and he is a recovered alcohlic but after a couple weeks ago i decided it was time to it quits i went with my best friend and her husband out to the bar my husband was at home with our little one he ed at in the am i admit i was drunk first time i have went out drinking in years anyway we were waiting on my friends ride to ome get them when he pulled up behind us and started a confrontation with my best friends ole who was sleeping in my car in the front paasenger side i was in back of car and best friend was in drivers seat my husband tried to bust out passenger window with a ball bat he hit it 3 times he weighs over lbs. i was knocked to the ground twice trying to get him to stop hitting my car. my friend got out and we had him at the back of the vehicle and her husband ran to get into their vehicle that pulled upmy husband went after him again with the bat and the friend of theirs that came to get them grabbed something outta the back of their vehicle to protect my friends husband and got hit in the arm with the bat my husband had my ole went to jail that night andhis dad bailed him out question is am i doing the right thing by leaving him i him but not in with him and when he is around me i am of his actions or his next freak out he really wants to work it out but i told him there not be a for that but that we would guide me in the right dirction please midget women
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