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Let's look at the irrational side of you, since that's the only control you actually have here. 1. She can be very stubborn but is this a way of coping, never talking to someone again, is it easier that way. You aren't her, you can say all you want about how she's stubborn but she has every fucking right to be. It's very selfish to think you know what's the right course of action for another person because it fits your idea of who and what a person should be. You need to look at who you are and do what you can to stop fucking trying to if you can twist her into what you think she should be. 2. I just cannot erase her from my life like it never happened and don't feel that is for adults who shared so much. No, you can't just erase her from your life our lives are what they are and we have to learn to deal with it but as for your follow up well so fucking what? Again your opinion of what is for an adult doesn't mean you're right. I know lots of people who've done very well never speaking to an ex again. Closing a door and moving on and no, it's NOT like nothing ever happened but they don't feel the need to stay connected, that's up to them. 3. Is it easier just to avoid someone you were so deeply in with rather than seeing/talking to them and if so why? I don't know but I do know that low to no contact is my rule of thumb. Doesn't mean it's fucking easy, heartbreak is painful but who needs to pull on the heart strings? As far as you getting how she does it well your focus is assbackwards here. You need to focus on how YOU do it. You don't get to make the rules about how she lives her life. She wants to be friends that's up to her. Now as far as the goes, that really sucks. Been there done that and have the height marks on the wall to prove it. IF you want to have any shot at remaining a part of the kid's life then make it about the and only the. No "Hi, how are you", nope request some time. Do so via or text, keep it short and to the point. And let her know you stop all other contact. One part of Mature behavior is learning to keep it about your own It's fucking hard as hell but it's the road out. Hoover true friendThat IS something that tops struggle with maintaining their mystique while still being human. It's a hard dance and I worry about it more as I try to step into a more Dominant role for the first time. I worry about a lot but I educate myself on different topics, discuss with her till the cows come home, make decisions based on what I've learned and feel and then I commit to the action, once it is time to act, discussion with words sort of ceases. There are lots of kinds of discussion though the pain I deal to her reactions in the moment are very much a discussion that I have to continue paying attention to, there is a lot of nuance for the top I think a lot of texture that I don't think bottoms very often from their and you have the hindrance trying to maintain that Wizard of Oz curtain all the while so they don't have to the "regular guy" when that isn't what they want. real women
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