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First I want to say that this topic turned out better than I had hoped. It kind of steered in a different direction than I was wanting but was very entertaining and I found it very helpful. I have a new found respect for this forum and the people that post in it. Even you, QuQ. SF_Pervect_Man; thanx for the advice. Tips like that were just what I was looking for. With that said, I would like to add some details to my "story" because some posts have made bold assumptions based on the little info I had given. No where did I say I was afraid or terrified about any consequences of being out. I only mentioned that actively seeking a romantic interest while deployed is frowned upon. For gays and straights. We are here in this shit-hole country to do a job; like it or not, we do our job and do it well. A romantic, or otherwise, connection can be a distraction to what we do. But, we are human and it is difficult to suppress those emotions and desires. Speaking of those consequences. It is true that DADT is gone and in "theory" there are no repercussions for being out; it is still a sensitive subject with the military and is something that should be dealt with carefully. Its easy to be on the outside looking in and say, "Dont be a bitch, just come out and (blah-blah-blah) " Maybe for some people it is/was that easy. But not for everyone. I work with some of the finest and most professional soldiers I have ever known and, honestly, I dont think it would be a bad thing if they knew. I CHOOSE not to let it be known because I dont want it to be a distraction or even a topic of discussion right now. As for me being a grown and not having the courage to get a date with another. That is a bold assumption. Just like most people in a normal society, it can be difficult to meet people that you have a real connection with. That is why internet dating and dating advice columns are so popular. What is wrong with asking advice from another person? The hardest step for a lot of people is coming to the conclusion that you are. The next hardest step is getting out there with it. Its not as easy as just "growing a pair of balls." Lastly I would like to say; for a group of people that try so hard to be accepted, some of you sure are hostile to someone whos beliefs differ from your own. mwm daddy seeking for sexYour marriage is over. You can drag out the final parting for another year or so, but it'll make you crazy. Get yourself to a therapist. Join a women's group. your friends. The idea is to start planning and get the best arrangement you can out of your divorce WHILE your stb ex-husband is still feeling amicable. Once he hooks up with another woman, you'll be devastated and he'll have other priorities. So NOW is the time to make a plan. I know this is shocking and terrible, but it's TRULY important that you PLAN. You get over him, you create a better life. Doing so be much, much easier if you stop focusing on him, on to your dignity, and move forward with, foresight, and sanity. You've made no mistakes. There's nothing to correct. Your husband is immature, restless, and a bit of a creep is all There's no way to fix that. don't drag it out. Do a therapist ASAP. chat for singles
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