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- we would have dinner around and then bundle up at 11:30 and get in the car to go to our midnight church service. The drive was beautiful usually through the snowy quiet roads with all the holiday lights glowing and then the big lighted tree in front of our church. There would be someone to recite the Christmas Story followed by various soloists always one particular 'O Holy Night' and of course the usual short sermon and congregationsl singing of Christmas carols. Then there was a reception in the church basement with cookies and hot cocoa/coffee where everyone wished each other a "- Christmas" and the minister stood at the door to shake hands with everyone on the way out. Tired but happy, we piled in the car and eagerly drove towards home to excitedly view our own big front yard lighted up tree and the lights around the windows and doors. Once inside, the fire in the fireplace was of couse just glowing embers and we all headed to bed my sister and I in our flannel pajamas with the feet haha and under our homemade quilts with dreams of what might leave in our stockings and under the tree for Christmas morning. We were not but we were never disappointed sweaters and toys and yes those slippers. There would be a breakfast of eggs/bacon and buttery toast and we would play with our new toys until the 'relatives' arrived around 4PM for dinner and they came with MORE gifts! What a beautiful and innocent time it was the talk was of and dreams and who had baked the best batch of cookies. Christmas night was the time for carolling and off we went house to house holding our burning candles. The people would come to the door, listen to us sing a few Christmas songs and then offered hot chocolate/buttered rolls or donuts. And then when we were all headed home with cold hands and cold feet there were once again the warm smiles and warm wishes "- Christmas Christmas everyone!" having sex in Sujiqyou probably the worst FEW points in ones life(he have slept with just two people to try getting over you since you wouldn't talk to him, tried gambling and won but only as little put in because that was one improbible way he could get the "finer things you wanted" or have drank more at time even once a week to temporarily dull the pain of you not being there but still those were his stupid mistakes. as for school, who could concentrate with someone yelling down your throat or worrying about someone you thought was a friend who could end up dead at any given moment on a daily basis? and think that is all to the person .if he were single and not dating you that is strange you'd be mad at him well there must be a reason .but instead you'll sit back and try to make yourself better than the world so the pain goes away bc this is the only way you know how I'm sorry but you need to find your heart. Nobody wants to be alone or mistreated but everybody steps on others toes in their own way. If he were to stop everything and show you he could provide would you even listen? You'd be too high on your pedestal to notice possibly Everybody has weak points and your judging small moments in time when someone is trying to change be one of yours. You have deserted all of your friends and considered that NOT judging. It hurts more than helps. Unfortunately you've probably got so much you could not begin to understand any of this. You would never have received the info he made the highest grades once away from outside interferences or that he did everything and even dealt with living around 9 gangs to make anything of himself with such a limited number of books most simply dropped out. Your info probably comes from those out to convince you to hate him. Maybe they have enough money to continuously squash him like a bug to make sure theres no way out for some personal gain. As for the temper it is something he have to work more on .but i highly doubt he ever hurt you with anything but careless words(which he probably regetted ever since) or anybody that didn't deserve it(defined as those who intentionally hurt others only for self gain or personal amusement). Well you win i guess. Have a nice life and don't forget to check on your own husbands life before judging others I bet if you were scarred up and more than butt ugly he'd s discreet dating
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I was hesitating on this one. If you are in this rut and don't at least your job, I'm sorry, you are in purgatory. I am blessed with great friends (who I make a point to look after) do a little volunteer work here and there, donate my paintings to auctions when I can. Have found that therapy/misistry is only as good as the therapist/minister, and if you lose in that crap shoot, it only makes matters worse. And for the of God (to turn a phrase) try to stay away from pharmeceuticals and self medicating. don't have time to join much, but you might find time for a Continuing Education Class at the local collage or university, or community center. Meet people, cultivate new skills, yatta yatta. Worst that can happen is you find the wordl and everyone in it not worth the powder to blow them to hell, and you develop a better appreciation for you own company. Ooops, talking too much again. Oh, yeah, and learn to forgive your own nature. Brooklyn Center single woman wanting sex ads handsome and single seeking female
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