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you are not crazy to think that you can restore trust. You are just overly hopeful and unrealistiy optimistic. This is no condemnation of your hopefulness, just my 30+ years of experience with a diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder sufferer. During the last disasterous 4 years of marriage, my Ex lied (almost daily) about how her "counseling" was going. A few days before seperation she finally acknowledged that she had quit counseling over 3 years prior because it was "just too hard". Mind you, we had been in "marriage counseling" for about of our marriage, and I finally decided that "she" needed individual psychotherapy (to which she agreed), otherwise, I'd divorce her. During that last 4 years she made several scary and witnessed attempts on my life (besides the run-of-the-mill domestic violence perpetrated by her, and in addition to the infidelities, lies, accusations, and general victimhood routine). Just sayin' if this all has you twisted out of shape and indecisive, take a few dozen hours to research BPD. You find that you are not alone in your grief. There's a book ed "Walking on Eggshells". If your stbx is truly BPD, you find that the book was written directly to and for you. There is a workbook to help you overcome the personality traits that allowed you to become enmeshed in a relationship with a BPD sufferer. And there are also workbooks for you and your attorney when you decide to "Split" or divorce from a BPD sufferer. And if you think things were complicated during marriage, just wait until you actually pull the plug on the relationship! You ain't seen ugly yet. horny women Arnold AFB Tennessee
Kaycnina, First, take a deep breath. You do not say which state you live in. One that is important for you to make is to your State Attorney General's office, Support Division. They give you accurate information. I am in Texas, where the support is based on NET income only so far as Social Security, Medicare, and Withholding taxes deducted (Not after cafeteria plan deductions such as insurances and retirement). One is 20% of net pay, 2 are 30%-period. if dad doesn't pay monthly, the State make dad mail to them and forward to you, or garnish his wages and his employer send to the state. We are going through a CS audit (we requested)so that mom can't play her "take you to court for more CS" card (-$10, ) court costs. They review all monies paid by dad and act as mediator rather than going to court. If no one can agree then it must be decided in court. My husband is one of those dads that goes WAY above and pays double the court-ordered CS and buys most of their needs. I respect him for that, even though his ex has the attitude that they are entirely his financial responsibility. Anyway, they have joint custody, but he pays full CS every month (in addition to the things CS should be paying for). The are with us Mon, Tues, and every other weekend-or whenever she wants them to be here. It works out to @ 18 days/mo. They both have made the effort to stay in the same geographical area for their, even though hubby has over an hour drive each way to work and is constantly time and money stressed. <2 more years-that's our mantra now> Prayers to you any cool girls want to start a friendshipThe government has nukes, tanks, and the largest arsenal on earth. You think a handful of survivalists with the firepower to kill a gnat matter against that? If you actually give a shit about protecting us against a dictatorship, go read Sharp's From Dictatorship to Democracy. In the meantime, your position is the most ideologiy laughable and senseless nonsense I've heard in as as I can remember, and I basiy make my living reading ideological nonsense. adult flirting
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