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looking for nsa this weekend perhaps ongoing this was the start of a very painful end. i decided to break up w/my girlfriend b/c i felt terrible about what i had done, and i felt she deserved better. she begged me not to leave her, that we could work it out. we tried. eventually, i decided i wanted us to take a break no contact whatsoever. i wanted to what we would do without each other now i regret that choice. after 2 months of no contact whatsoever, we saw each other at my sister's shower. we kissed, hugged each other and told ea. other how much we missed the other. i discovered that during the break she had started attending raves and was heavily into ecstasy, something i could not put up w/it. in the end, i gave her the ultimatum: me or the. she chose the. i lost it. i was furious. hurt. betrayed. fast forward: her mother ed my house to tell my mum (whom i still live w/) how happy she was that her daughter was dating a GUY! i was CRUSHED! i wrote her via fb, and told her how i couldn't believe how quickly she replaced me, only after 4 months of me giving her a choice of or me. i'll spare whoever is reading this a longer novel but here is what has me so deeply devastated, to the point that I FEEL LIKE DYING . i found out that after i gave her ultimatum, she went on a coke binge, and was close to overdosing. the guy who she started dating was there to "nurse her back to health". so she started seeing him. a little bit later ..she was raped. i feel so guilty about this! she was raped by an uncle who had previously molested her as a. now i don't know what to do. she has mentioned doing other things she is ashamed of, hinting at the fact that she performed sexual acts for during the break up, etc. we are friends now and i am trying to help her as much as i can. she had left this guy she was with in order to give US a, but the pull of dominating a sexually was too great, and she is back with him. in her own words, she is using him "just for sex". i am sure she is doing it as a means to reclaim ownership of her body. as a way to feel in control of her sexuality again. and now, i feel like the more she has meaningless sex w/this guy, the more confused she be. she also started drinking excessively and doing shrooms. this guy lets her do whatever she wants b/c he doesn't want to "change her". i feel so lost.
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