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I don't really care about what happens to this. There could be any number of reasons why he is acting out the way he is but that isn't my concern either. One thing is for sure, with the information I do have, I'm not holding his mother totally to blame. He is an adult and he should be responsible for himself, including getting appropriate help which it appears he needs. I also do not judge the mother and her roommate who share a history. It's their dynamic, it's worked well for years, and I'm not a part of it. That stated, my friend knows I support her and she is welcome in my home to relax or to vent or to just talk things over. reports and requests for restraining orders in this little city and the county can only be filed by the effected party. And those can not be based on what "- happen," only what "has happened" like stalking or threatening actions or witnessing vandalism. And, there really is no place for this woman to go other than her friends who live nearby or a local safe house. If she leaves the area, she loses out on school and wouldn't have a trusted emotional support system both of which are key to picking up the pieces and beginning her life anew. You are quite right about head vs. heart but that battle is one I can win by simply doing my best to provide meaningful support within my limitations and knowing when to step back. Thanks for your input I suspect this subject woke up some old memories for you as well. wanting a secret womanOk, I get where you're coming from entirely. It's so hard on the kiddos when dad doesn't show up. It just sucks. I know you are the one to pick up the pieces from the broken heart too. So sad. Unfortunately, this is sort of how my dad did the fade on them. However, when he did or show up my always were available for him. I did this because I knew they really loved him in spite of all his flaws and were happy for the time they did spend with him. Now that he's not around at all anymore, I've had to dry a tear. So, since you are so determined here's what I suggest. You don't have to hide or even be vindictive. What you do is gather all your evidence of him not exercising his visitation and have it legally. Put him on a probation period. 6 months of supervised visitation without missing one single time and he can start to have more. If he misses you don't have to go back, have it so that "the parents agree" and you have the final word on visitation. good luck female seeking man
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