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You say it's decision time but from what your wrote you've already done that. You just want to figure out how to get out clean. Ain't gonna happen, you're NOT clean so quit trying to come out smelling like a. Divorce stinks and it stinks bad. You're going to feel like dogshit, you SHOULD feel like dogshit. That's just a part of it. There's no right way, there is only the best you can do. It's that simple and oh so fucking hard to do. It's money where your mouth is time, you decided to say fuck it a year ago, let her scramble and dance around keeping some alive. So now here you are talking about guilt trips and making a decision when what you're really saying is you want to lower the boom after the holidays. Let the have a nice fake Christmas and for a New Year's resolution file a divorce suit. Yup, you're going to come off as a deceptive fuck, your wife be pissed because she suddenly did everything she could to save the marriage and you wouldn't budge. She or not bash you in front of the, depends on her and maybe you and how you act. It take time to have that pain go away and some never let go of it. So you have to ask yourself, what IS the best way? What does that mean? And most importantly, what are you prepared to do in order to know you did your best? Not say, fucking DO. How about research? Real research, go online and to book stores, get expert opinion, a divorce counselor, prepare yourself and prepare yourself to not react to attacks. Expect her to lash out, be angry, pull guilt trips she has every right to be pissed off and angry at you. You're rejecting her. So this becomes personnel, what are you personally willing to do in order to make sure you do your best? And maybe, perhaps before you pull the ripcord on all this shit ask yourself this question why won't I do that now in my marriage? Not saying that this one isn't DOA but you'll have time to contemplate that later too why didn't I lay it on the line years ago? Good luck to ya, good peeps fuck it up all the time and it hurts but DO your best. real Paragould Arkansas chicks fuckingjust to add something to the mix here. :) While reading your posts, (which are always so articulate and thoughtful, by the way) what came across first to me is you are a THINKER. So, maybe the key to developing those social relationships that would allow for you to be friends first would be ACTION sorts of things while expanding your circle. Let me explain. It was easier for me, as someone that lived in my head A LOT, to maintain a friendship with someone I was attracted to by getting involved in something physical not just social/chatting stuff. Much to my husband's chagrin, who happens to be an amazing cook, I never took that cooking class but that could be one if you wanted to keep things light. Martial arts is another one my girlfriends would always scoff until I convinced them to come down to the studio I trained at for years and they met fantastic guys from all walks of life and just TRY looking all sexy and cool with sweat beads pouring down your forehead. :) That actually helped my perpetually-with-the-wrong-guys girlfriend make lots of guy friends one of whom, a dentist, introduced her to the guy for her. Fantastic story, really. In a nutshell, she was sweet, smart, cute as a button but really jaded when it came to guys and just having a dojo with "brothers" (who were protective and full of friends/advice) was a particularly healing experience for her. She ended up marrying the guy and now they both train at that studio. Super cute. If something more cerebral and cause oriented is your idea of action, I did get involved in humanitarian causes that were dear to my heart and that has a way of engendering friendship while still keeping focus on something besides romance. One in particular, a shelter for teenage runaways, was where I found a friend that I eventually dated for a year or so. Great guy. We weren't right for each other term but we are still friends today. There's my.02. you find that friends first situation. They are INFINITELY better. Should the relationship end, it generally ends on a MUCH more positive note. Oh! And the sex is better too well YMMV. :) horny older women
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