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Something that's happening to me at a rate of speed now, that's surprising, unexpected, and I have no control of it, really (not that I'm wanting any control of it). It's just happening and a lot. It feels as if all of those classes in meditation and relaxation techniques that I taught when I was in my fourties(?) and all of my 'spiritual' books that I read mostly back then, that I keep in my library now(?) it all made sense to me then, but it was all a pale reflection of what Mother Nature is dishing out to me now, in the name of 'enlightenment'. I always had compassion for my husband, including when he became my former husband, and even when he was *hideous*. But I had a measure of Big Fear, and not enough backbone, to really deal with him. Now, our conversations are dominated by the presence of my Big, and I'm met with these silences from him, and more sweetness. He senses a change, and he's somewhat taken back. Then, there's other things that have taken shape in other significant relationships that I have. It's all clear, understandable, and fitting, really. This 'Goddess business' that I kid about is actually something that I take to heart. I want my candle to burn all the way down before I pass on. I want to all the way. Which is what's happening now. Gonna go polish my furniture now! God, I housekeeping!!! (not kidding) Big, Your nutty internet pal!!! single horny girls from Renfrewshire njThe weekend It has been freakishly warm and like, so I've been doing the cleaning routine; furniture waxng, cleaning bathroom ties with a toothbrush etc. I also have 7 canvesses stretched and am painting again. They are all only 8" by 10" so I need to learn to work small. And, on I be forever older than my mom. She died at the age of 54. It feels really, really strange and upsetting. One of the paintings I'm working on is a memorial/retablo for my mom. horny bbw
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