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Distant Lover The other night you asked me why I started liking you now. I think I replied something like, "because you're hot and awesome " While both of those are true, I feel like elaborating a little because that answer does not express how I feel about you or why I feel this way. I can't pinpoint exactly when I began to feel all butterflies and about you. I do know that while we weren't talking I thought about you all the time and kept our friendship in a quiet place inside of me. I loved you too much to not have you in my life. I also know that night when I went up to you after not speaking to you for so long and we x&o'ed it felt like I imagine it feels for people getting to and seeing all the people they loved who went before them. I didn't think I could feel this way at this point in my life, the way that makes me want to write you mushy notes and tell you sappy stuff like: Your femininity makes me feel like a man, that effortless softness and sweetness that makes me happy I grow hair on my face and have an 's. I could not have felt like this about you before, it wasn't ever a possibility. However, I suspect the feeling was always there hidden in my subconscious waiting for the right time to rise up. Maybe I started liking you now because this is when I was supposed to start liking you, and maybe it is just that simple. Although I know it doesn't seem that way. I'm leaving to where I might as well be at or in considering how much it's going to dominate my life. But I also know that if the way I feel about you now compared to when we first met is any indication of how I will feel about you in anotheryears then at that point there is a possibility that I will spontaneously combust into confetti made of and dollars at your feet and you will have to explain to people why there is a pile of and dollars at your feet and you will have an excellent story to tell them about the man who you met 16 years ago. And maybe that is enough of a reason for me.
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