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Q: Why do the men in Scotland wear kilts? A: Because the sheep can hear a zipper a mile away. Q: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion? A: A piece of ass that brings tears to your eyes. Q. Did you hear about the new cereal ed Prostituties? A: It doesn't snap, crackle or pop it just lies there and bangs. Q: What can a jelly bean do that a can't do? A: Come in 7 different flavors. Q: Did you hear that the post office is putting out a new stamp to commemmorate prostitutes? A: For 42 cents you can buy it and for another 20 cents you can lick it. Q: What do you a with no asshole? A: Divorced. Q: How can you go on sex? A: 68. When you hit 69 you have to turn around. Q: What did the leper say to the prostitute? A: Keep the tip. Q: Why did the elephant paint his balls red? A: So he could hide in the tree. Q: How did Tarzan die? A: Picking cherries. Lake Harbor Florida week need some funI have been 'lurking' here for a few months and some good honest adviceon topics. This is not LTR related per se, but I you weightin. Briefly I am originally from another country (Sri Linaka) and have been in US for abt 10 years now. Went to grad school here, got married, and divorced while here and don't plan to return to 'homeland' in the near future. I had a good circle of friends for the last years but in the last couple of years every single one of them has moved out of here- some got married, so divorced, some left for jobs- life. And I find myself very alone these days. I just got out of a ltr where I am still missing the loss, the closeness badly. Have a good job and brought a house here that I like. But I feel so rudderless and wonder how I am going to live like this. No, and I have a hard time finding LTRs though(marriage and divorce)screwed me up big time and I was gun shy for a time. Now that I am ready for another LTR it seems so hard to find someone who is in a similar place. Placed a couple of LTR ads on and have been on a few dates but am finding it really tough and very lonesome. I know I should get out more but I am not the bar type and I have been somewhat depressed so havent gone and volunteered as I know I should. Previous years I had get togethers at my place/ other friendss place and this time it just seemed like a weekend, which was nice, but I having someone special, someone close with whom I could share life. I am trying to meet new people and had one date over the weekend but while I am supposed to be attractive and well spoken and all that crap, I have trouble being finding a LT and my xso immensely when it does not work out. Need a lot of timeto lick my wounds and get back in the fray again. Righ now I just feel so alone and almost like life is not meaningful, though I am norally a very positive person. I am realizing my friends were importan to my emotional health and I am so lonely again now that tehy have moved out. Anyone had similar experience? I sure can use some help. professional dating services
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