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bitterness scorn can consume anyone. It sounds like that's where your wife is living. While you need help. She does too. Unfortunately, you can't drag her into counseling. You can't make her be nice to you. However, you can put up boundaries in your home life. I suggest that you read some of the boundaries books. Also, remind her that the are watching. Does she really want the to grow up, watching XYZ in their parents relationship. The economy is bad. couples divorce continue to co-habitat in the same house. They simply cannot afford to live separately. With 3 small, it cost you guys more money for childcare than what she could earn. Also, there is the alimony. Seek some self esteem therapy, if possible. Not that you're bad. It's just that people in marriage turmoil are vulnerable to, manipulation, depression. Focus on the. lonely mom in Massenaperson justify it? I wish I could but for 16 years it has been the same. If we argue, these things start happening. It is just SO sad. I have been married before, went to Victim's Assistance because I wanted to know what was wrong with me, for real. I have faults like everyone. My fault, they told me, was that I was sick too if I put up with it. But HOW does he not notice. I show him, tell him, anything I can do, but it is like he is acting out on me what he would like to do to his siblings and parents. Is it possible that he is doing these things unconsciencely and not know it? I know the answer, but please tell me, it hurts too bad. I keep telling him I AM NOT HIS MOTHER, I AM NOT HIS DAD, I AM NOT HIS SISTER or any other relative, I am your wife, your Safe Harbor that you are destroying .why? It has been your Safe Harbor for 16 years. Why are you treating me like this? I have given him self-help books, he won't read them, he justifies everything he does, he mimics other people because he doesn't know himself, he pretends he is happy to get things from me, he gets a far away look in his eyes and sometimes I can't even reach him. PLEASE SOMEONE give me some common sense help here? I know you probably tell me what I already know, but I need to hear it again? So Sad. discreet encounters
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