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for the fact that this is really not the issue in this post. this is more a red herring that the op has cast out onto the forum floor. for any of this advice to have any real impact on the op, she has to be convinced that if she wants to save her marriage (assuming she does that is) this would be a step in the right direction. not supporting her husband simply be one more issue of contention and one step closer to a divorce. even if she has not contemplated divorce, she is unwittingly helping to lead their marriage down that path. imo the op is seeking validation for an action she knows deep down is wrong. resentment is a tough nut to crack. lets go for a Castine Maine dating rideMeet for a drink or dinner first. Then maybe go out on dates together. (non sexual ones) It's probably the best course of action right now. As far as your jealousy is concerned, you and your wife need to discuss that before anything happens at all. She hid them from you, which is a breach of trust. Ask her why she felt the need to keep them from you. You guys need to be open and honest with each other about that, about why you're thinking of opening at the very least your sexual relationship up. I recommend a book ed "Opening Up" by Taormino. It discusses the pros and cons of opening your relationship/marriage. It also has passages from people the authors interviewed, so it's steeped in the realistic and not just the hypothetical. There are also writing exercises, communication exercises, etc. It's well written and not as wishy washy as some open relationship books out there. Good luck. grannies swingers
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