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his actions. You I get the feeling he spends a lot of time bending to her to keep the peace. Now this one time after a few beers he stands his ground and smokes the cigar when he knows she did not want him to. Now in the clear light of day he does not want her to be upset because he defied her. For him the consequence of his actions are what is causing the disequilibrium in all of this. If she would not have continue to make an issue of this I don't think he would be here. He wants to be right and he does not know how to be right and give in to her so he is confused and looking for support to bolster he stance. looking for a mature lover ltmake your own decisions. Let me tell you something that holds very true for me closure and the way it's been defined is fucking overrated. It's become some screwed up search to dig into the past and try to figure out everything that went wrong and attach some reason to your current issues are tied to it. The real truth is you don't need to know. You can stop bad behavior if you want to, you can break a pattern if you don't want to participate in it anymore. While it be normal to wonder what truly happened to your parents marriage, it isn't any of your business. In fact you are better off NOT knowing the details. Your parents are leaving your decisions to you, you should respect that. Currently they are refusing to let you in on the intimate details of their break up because they know that while the relationship between THEM has failed it has no bearing on how they feel about you. It's an adjustment that is difficult for even adults to make, the relationship with parents following divorce is now independent of the other. It is time for you to have a relationship with EACH parent. I salute your parents for giving the other the opportunity for you to do that. parents don't and cast the net of blame at the other leaving you in the middle of their bitterness. Your parents aren't perfect, they're human and as humans, just as messed up as anyone. However, you should be proud of how they are handling this. In regards to this situation they are on solid ground. It shows character to actually NOT comply to your wishes to know. Respect it. My hat is off to them. As far as YOUR life, like beezerd said, it is up to you to set your OWN moral compass. adult granny
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